The Hitchhiker's Guide To London (UK) (Face 2) (1994) (Version Basic 1.1) (PD).dsk
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00ED50: A0 1E 6E 05 00 BB 00 95 13 A1 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 ..n.............
00ED60: 0D EB BF 22 49 74 27 73 20 61 20 76 69 72 74 75 ..."It's a virtu
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00EF90: 27 45 78 63 75 73 65 20 6D 65 2C 20 53 69 72 2C 'Excuse me, Sir,
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00F220: 70 17 00 6F 00 9D 13 A1 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 15 EB p..o............
00F230: BF 22 44 6F 6E 27 74 20 62 65 20 6E 61 73 74 79 ."Don't be nasty
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00F3F0: 2E 20 61 77 2C 20 49 20 6D 65 61 6E 2C 20 69 66 . aw, I mean, if
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010520: 35 00 B7 13 A1 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 2F EB BF 22 59 5........../.."Y
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011650: B1 00 CA 13 A1 20 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 42 20 EB 20 ..... ......B .
011660: BF 22 44 69 64 6E 27 74 20 79 6F 75 20 73 65 65 ."Didn't you see
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011700: 00 F3 00 CB 13 A1 20 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 43 20 EB ...... ......C .
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012020: 00 E1 00 D9 13 A1 20 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 51 20 EB ...... ......Q .
012030: 20 BF 22 49 74 20 72 69 6E 67 73 2E 20 59 6F 75 ."It rings. You
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0121D0: DC 13 A1 20 0D 00 00 CF EF 19 54 20 EB 20 BF 22 ... ......T . ."
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0124F0: 01 A0 20 1E 6E 05 00 AF 00 E2 13 A1 20 0D 00 00 .. .n....... ...
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01D720: 59 6F 75 20 68 61 76 65 20 6E 65 69 74 68 65 72 You have neither
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031700: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031710: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031720: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031730: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031740: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031750: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031760: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031770: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031780: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031790: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0317A0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0317B0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0317C0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0317D0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0317E0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0317F0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031800: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031810: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031820: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031830: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031840: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031850: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031860: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031870: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031880: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031890: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0318A0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0318B0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0318C0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0318D0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0318E0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0318F0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031900: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031910: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031920: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031930: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031940: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031950: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031960: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031970: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031980: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031990: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0319A0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0319B0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0319C0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0319D0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0319E0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
0319F0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A00: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A10: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
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031A30: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A40: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A50: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A60: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A70: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A80: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031A90: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031AA0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031AB0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031AC0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031AD0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031AE0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031AF0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B00: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B10: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B20: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B30: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B40: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B50: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B60: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B70: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B80: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031B90: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031BA0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
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031BF0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031C00: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
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031C50: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031C60: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
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031C80: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031C90: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031CA0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031CB0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031CC0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031CD0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031CE0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031CF0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D00: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D10: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D20: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D30: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D40: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D50: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D60: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D70: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D80: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031D90: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031DA0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031DB0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031DC0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031DD0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031DE0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031DF0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E00: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E10: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E20: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E30: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E40: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E50: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E60: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E70: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E80: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031E90: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031EA0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031EB0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031EC0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031ED0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031EE0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
031EF0: E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 E5 ................
RESULT OF SEARCH :
PRO=81 CHEA=9 COD=1 MUSI=9 COP=7 GRA=44 WRIT=15 198=0 199=0 STARTER=0 KBI=0 CAAV=0 L.TOURNIER=0
PRO=81 CHEA=9 COD=1 MUSI=9 COP=7 GRA=44 WRIT=15 198=0 199=0 STARTER=0 KBI=0 CAAV=0 L.TOURNIER=0
EXTENDED CPC DSK File SAMdisk120814* PBEGGAR DBUSKER DBUY S% CINEMA D
CLOSE SDEATH S DRINK SEAT SENTER SR !"#$%&'()GAME D*+,GIVE SA
-./012345INSULT S6789INSULT EINSULT2 SEABCDEFGKILL S"HIJKLLONDON 1TMNOPQRS
TUVWLOOKAT SOXYZaLOOKAT2 SbcdefghiLondon-2 jNOTICE DkOPEN SJlmnopqrstuPHON
E SvwPOSTER DxyzPRESS S,QUIT SRANDOMS D(REMOVE S$SPEAKER STAKE SSTUR
NDISKSUSE SW£USE2 SEVIDEO D WEAR SBEGGAR RNDp%%game'"nn"london.pr1"
,nher Sweet Larry game B"He wants you to give him something. And to his pal. An
d to his doggy, who hasn'teaten for three days."nr B"He is eating a piece of piz
za wrapped in a small paper bag reading 'Eat all you can... pay'."nR B"He is sel
ling 'lightersh, lightersh, wonn pount for dhree!'."n( B"He/she/it is wrapped ti
ghtly into an army sleeping bag. Nothing is sticking out of it. It might as well
be the Green Tentacle (TM) from a PC Game we won't mansion here."nt2 B"He
has a sign reading 'Will work for food'. Maybe he's Uncle Slam (Ins
ider joke)"n B"He wears ragged clothes and has a long grey beard and equally lon
g hair of the same colour. As he sees you, he looks surprised, gasps ''It's...'
' and runs off." O()n*F B"He begs your pardon."nP B"There are actually three of
them, old men who look very shabby and tired. One of them holds a bicycle,
the other an umbrella and the third a tiny crumb ofgold, saying 'This is all yo
u left us. How about a gift, eh'RZ B"Somehow you feel that you know these men. B
ut from where..."nd B"He wears a long shabby trenchcoat and smokes a stinking ci
gar. Besides him a shabby car stands. Suddenly you realize that he is Inspect
or Columbus. His glasseye stares at you accusingly."nn B "He wears a long trench
coat and stares at you obscenely.""Suddenly he tears his trenchcoat open. You l
ook inside and feel pity for him. He's obviously a man whodoesn't have very much
."ncx B"He wears a worn out hat and ragged clothes. To his side he has fixed a w
hip."n B"He wears dark glasses, a white stick and a sign saying 'Blind (currentl
y not guarded), please help!'"n B "He's short, fat and has a small sign sayin
g 'Ken Williams' on his shirt. He looks at you desperately and shouts 'Ca
n you get me work, Sir Or at least some new jokes for my new Lasher Sweet Larr
y game'"nn"london.pr1",nher Sweet Larry game'" nn"london.pr1",nho hasn'teaten fo
r three days."GOT his side he has fixed a whip."n B"He wears dark glasses, a whi
te stick and a sign saying 'Blind (currently not guarded), please help!'"n B
"He's short, fat and has a small sign saying 'Ken Williams' on his shirt.
Ph##S3-"YnDTLVWCiVf"3L#3DD"VUxiLUU"i3BUSKER RNDpnR $$$"london.pr1",n "'If yo
u can "It's the three Indios from Praha! They grin and wave at you and then
continue toplay their strange music." "The two boys are laughing stupidly, p
lay air guitars and imitate Heavy Metal music by going 'Da-da-daa' etc. One
of them is wearing braces.""They suck." "He just grins and does some percussi
on with his hands.""(Maybe you should draw a sketch and the problem would solve
itself. Sorry, in- sider joke. This guy is a teacher of the programmers.)"(
"A small, skinny figure with a rather big head and a strange half-transparent
beard, all dressed in red and yellow, stands in a corner and sings medieval lo
vesongs (badly).""Certainly this guy is different in private!"2 "A small elde
rly black man carrying an electric guitar and hopping around strangely. C
ould it be..." "He's a young black man with hair like bed springs. His singin
g is very loud and full of Jamaican slang. You can only understand the word 'mon
' from time to time."UF "An elder gentleman who imitates a beat box by cl
earing his throat."bP "A policeman playing a cello. He looks very content and
waves at you cheerfully."Z "A man with a moustache, wearing rubber boots, gl
asses and a handkerchief on the head, sings loudly and badly whilst striking him
self on the head with two bricks."d "He jumps around, hits himself on
the legs and screams in a high voice.""Obviously, he's some kind of masochist.""
Suddenly you realize that he's in fact performing a Bavarian 'Schuhplattler' and
you turn away in shame."n "He is a Dire Straits impersonator playing 'Money F
or Nothing', although what he actually does is nothing for money."a "He stand
s in a corner playing 'Blowing In The Wind' and 'Stairway To Heaven'.""london.pr
1",nR $$$"london.pr1",n "'If you can read this, you need new glasses'""london
.pr1",n,,s some kind of masochist.""Suddenly you realize that he's in fact perfo
rming a Bavarian 'Schuhplattler' andyou turn away in shame."n "He is a Dire S
traits impersonator playing 'Money For Nothing', although what he actually does
is nothing for money."a "He stands in a corner playing 'Blowing In The Wind'
and 'Stairway To Heaven'.""london.pr1",uld like to meet your toe Ha, ha, HA!""So
rry. I couldn't help it." nC 6 "They are more fun to eat than to look at." nf
7 "Let's put it that way If they were people, someone would have to bury them.
" nL 8 "Better eat it. The salesman has other fish to fry." n 9 "The letters
FAST FOOD STAN are hanging loosely above it. Apparently, the D is missing. An
old salesman stands inside and smiles at you like gurus do when theyhad too muc
h BUY BASpnd your money on other things." n "I'm afraid "8 pound "You ran
out of money." o()"london.pr1",8 "london.pr1",8n pound "You ran out of money.
" o()"london.pr1",n "london.pr1",n Buy pound#"You don't have the required £35.
"n"The salesman gives you the video camera, hiding his grin behind his hand." po
und pound# o()n 7 pound"You don't have the required £2."n"The salesman bows to y
ou and gives you the eggs." pound pound o(7)n( f()) pound"You don't have the re
quired £5."n"A black woman sells you the ink, winks at you and grins 'Next time
you come, areyou gonna put THIS in your face'v( f())"Oops. Apparently your disg
uise wasn't that perfect." pound pound o()n pound "You don't P have the requi
red £10."n"The salesman gives the cassette to you, saying 'You's not gonna regre
t it!'." o( ) pound pound nP "'What's all this, then', he shouts, 'I am incorrup
tible!'"n & pound"You don't have the required £250."n"You pay and take the guita
r. Then you play a few chords.""The salesman screams, jumps up, takes the guitar
and throws you out." spiele) & pound pound8 * pound "You don't have the re
quired £2." n "Pizza-Man stops shouting for a minute, gives you the pizza and t
hen goes on withhis business." o(*) pound pound n . pound"You don't have the req
uired £5."n"The old man hands you the bottle, saying 'I wonder why they make suc
h a fuss about this stuff...'" pound pound o(.)n / pound"You don't have the r
equired £6."n"The clerk gets the tin of Spam from a shelf. To protect the rusty
tin, he puts it into a plastic bag." pound pound o(/) o(")n 0 pound "You d
on't have the required £2." n "The clerk hands you the Coke, saying 'You don't
happen to know this loony from" o(0) pound pound 0 "the museum who comes in he
re every day to buy this stuff Kinda strange, that guy. Says he's not interest
ed in the contents, which I can understand, but... anyway, here you are, then.
Two pounds, please. Thank you." n 2 pound "You don't have the required £3.
" n "The salesman hands you the sandwich, smiling annoyingly." pound pound o(2)
n 4 pound"You don't have the required £9."n"The dealer takes another cautious l
ook around and then hands you the Soma." pound pound o(4)n 5 pound"You don't hav
e the required £2."n"The clerk takes the Tic Tac packet, shakes it for some time
, producing a beauti-ful Samba rhythm, and then gives it to you." pound pound o(
5)n 6 pound"You don't have the required £2."n"The clerk hands you the Fisherman'
s Fiend, saying 'Don't blame me!'." pound pound o(6)n 8 pound"You don't have the
required £4."n"The salesman burns his fingers in the frying-pan several times b
efore he managesto give you the food." pound pound o(8)n7 "Nah, who wants this s
tuff anyway"n H"You couldn't afford it in a million years."n0 Z"My, aren't we FU
NNY today!"n pound "You don't have the required £13."n"The waiter says 'Heer yo
o ahre, mein Herr!' and serves you the food." pound pound o()n "It would be too
expensive to buy them all."nC "They're in a library and thusly not for sale."n
i"Ah, well, yes, maybe you got something wrong here. You give the clerk some
foreign currency and he'll exchange it into British Pounds."n8 m"They are not
suitable for the CPC."n6£ o"You don't need any of this junk."n pound "You
don't have the required £2." n "The clerk uses a pair of tweezers to get the bu
rger and gives it to you." pound pound o() nr ! "'That will be £15 per hour, s
weetie.'""You decide to spend your money on other things." n "I'm afraid "rufnam
( )" is not for sale." n nn8 m"They are not suitable for the CPC."n6£ o"You don'
t need any of this junk."n pound "You don't have the required £2." n "The
clerk uses a pair of tweezers to get the burger and gives it to you." pound pou
nd o() nr ! "'That will be £15 per hour, sweetie.'""You decide to speCINEMA R
NDpse'" n n"london.pr1",pn"london. FH "Actually, there are quite a lot of poste
rs there. This one says" (E) "''Coming soon The Hitchhiker's Guide to Praha -
The Movie Part II ''" n5( "'Now playing Mrs. Dumbfire'" nT2 "''Now playi
ng Wayne's World III - Party Time! Excrement!''" nf "''Tonight Double Feature
'Oh No! P More Gremlins' and 'Christmas Gremlins'! ''" nF "'Now playing The
Meaning Of Lup!'" nP "'Now playing British Royalty Scandals (updated hourly)
'""A sign saying 'SOLD OUT' is glued over it." nLZ "'Coming soon Ghandi II -
Return Of The Peacemaker'" nLd "''Coming soon 'Waclav And Golem Save The Worl
d' ''" ndn "'Now playing Highlander III - Apparently There Can Be More Than O
nly One!'" nix "'Tonight Laughs At The Lights - The Story Of One Man's Quest
For Illumination'" nP "''Now playing 'Waclav And Golem In Double Trouble' ''
" n "'Now playing Fry Willy (starring Dolphin Lundgren as the Prince of Whale
s and featuring the music of Michael Czechson'" nh "''Now playing 'Waclav
And Golem - The Movie' (in Czech with Arab subtitles)''" nK "''Coming soon 'W
aclav And Golem in Hollywood' ''" n9 "'Coming soon Spam - The Movie'" n "'
Coming soon Lipomatosis - The Movie'" nw "'Coming soon Anything You Always Wa
nted To Know About Austrians But Were Too Lazy To Ask'" n "'Coming soon An
ything You Always Knew About Foreigners But Wanted To Have Confirmed Offic
ially'" nX "''Coming not The Hitchhiker's Guide To Austria - The Movie ''" nZ
"'Now playing Sherlock Homeless And The Secret Of The Holy Nose'" n n"londo
n.pr1",pn"london.pr1",playing - Mrs. Dumbfire'airs ss an Anything You Always Wa
nted To Know About Austrians But Were Too Lazy To Ask'" n "'Coming soon An
ything You Always Knew About Foreigners But Wanted To Have Confirmed Offic
ially'" nX "''Coming not The Hitchhiker's Guide To Austria - The Movie ''" nZ
"'Now playing Sherlock Homeless And The Secret Of The Holy No coun coun durc
hgan( spiele, coun) we coun counl (/) coun p n X spiele durchgan( spiele
, we) p 8"C"""( ve ve)( ) vei£ ve o( )"You are already carrying this item, my li
ttle nitwit."n"take", ve"open", ve"close", ve "use", ve oCLOSE BASpmmge
amounts of money." nE (E) "Once aga8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n"london.pr1",
Close "That is completely impossible, sorry." n spiele "It is already
closed." n spiele f( ) "You close the door." f( ) durchgan(,) n "It's a
lready closed." n spiele f() "You close the door." f() durchgan(,) n "I
t's already closed." n* "The lid is gone." n/ "It is already closed." n/
" "Better leave it open." n $ "You can't close the automatic doors." nC % "
You are unable to do so from the outside." n/ , "It is already closed." nM ( -
. 0) "The bottle is already closed." n/ / "It is already closed." n. 7
"The eggs ARE closed." nt 9 "The salesman bursts into tears, crying 'Please d
on't close my stand! PLEASE!!!' You don't." n- "You can't close it." n/ H "
It is already closed." nC O "Since it has no door, it can't be closed." n- P
"It can't be closed." n/ U "It is already closed." n+ X "It is stuck open."
n/ "It is already closed." n2 "They are already closed." n4 "The can i
s already closed." nj e f() "You close the safe." f() n "It is already cl
osed." n i "You can't decide things like that." n (E) "That is completely imp
ossible." nC (E) "Not even for large amounts of money." nE (E) "Once again, ma
tter triumphs over mind." n PDEATH BASp1n.pr1",nand says HELLO. HAVEN'T WE
MET BEFORE" spiele "The figure holds a long scythe in its hand. As the figur
e turns its head to grinat you, you see that the head is nothing but a skull wit
h dark empty eyes. COME ON, says Death. I CAN'T WAIT ALL DAY."D spiele o(
)"Death"rufnam()"Death" n spiele3 "Apparently this is no wax figure! Death tur
ns his head and looks at you. OH, HELLO, he says. I WAS JUST LOOKING AT S
OME COLLEAGUES OF MINE." n( spieleH "Death looks at the things for sale and mu
mbles VERY NICE INDEED." n2 spiele (E) "Death looks at the gloomy atmosphere
of the London Dungeon and sighs OH, THOSE WERE THE DAYS." ny7 spiel
e "He regards an old man sitting next to the Ripper statue with great interest.
" o(j) n"Death is a tall, skinny (or rather bony) figure wearing a dark cloak an
d a hood. He holds an impressive scythe in his hand and from time to time he
takes out an hour-glass and looks at it with great interest."cF (E) "He turns
to you, saying WATCH YOUR STEP. I'VE GOT WORK ENOUGH TO DO." nP (E) "He turns
to you, saying DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ACCIDENTS ARE CAUSED BY SUBWAYS WHAT A WON
DERFUL INVENTION." nUZ (E) "He looks at you and says HELLO. HAVEN'T WE MET BEFO
RE" n d Fn"london.pr1",nand says HELLO. HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE" n d Fn"london.pr1
",nrs ss and looks at it with great interest."cF (E) "He turns to you, saying
WATCH YOUR STEP. I'VE GOT WORK ENOUGH TO DO." nP (E) "He turns to you, saying D
O YOU KNOW HOW MANY ACCIDENTS ARE CAUSED BY SUBWAYS WHAT A WONDERFUL INVENTION
." nUZ (E) "He looks at you and says HELLO. HAVEN'T WE MET BEFORE" n d Fn"londo
DRINK BASpOnw exactly do you want to do that" nn"london.pr1",n"london.pr1",Dri
nk "(Why do people always have to try the disgusting things in these games)""Loo
k here, mate, I don't go pissing into your drinks either, do I !!!"n "You turn o
n the shower very carefully and sip some of the water coming out of it. It's n
ot exactly what you'd serve your friends, but your thirst goes away." thirsn -"O
bviously, this stuff was a bit too strong for you because it burned a hole r
ight through your stomach. As you look around, Death is standing in a corner, l
ooking at you impatiently. LET'S GO, he says." ."Whoa, that wash the right shtuf
f. Of courshe it doeshn't affect your percempt...precompo... proception... pr..
mental powersh." thirs o(.)8n 0"Yeuch. You can't beat the feeling.""Nevertheless
, you're not thirsty any more." thirs o(0)nA T"There are people watching you, l
et's don't!"n( )"It is of course well known that humans consist to 80% of wate
r, but this is not the time for dehydration."n( ! ( ) G K N W j n)"It is of co
urse well known that humans consist to 80% of water, but this is not the time fo
r dehydration."n F"Now look here, I think there's been a misunderstanding.""You
CAN drink some spirits, but not this one. Apart from that, we're the ones tomake
the puns around here, got it"n an(E)M an"Your desired action is prevented by la
ck of liquidity."n3 an"You can't drink that, silly."nE an"Get real. You can't dr
ink "rufnam( )"."n an"I can't help suspecting that you don't take this game seri
ously enough."n an"And how exactly do you want to do that"nw exactly do you want
to do that" nstrange person!" naway."Zres away."Zmetr got it"n an(E)M an"Your d
esired action is prevented by lack of liquidity."n3 an"You can't drink that, sil
ly."nE an"Get real. You can't drink "rufnam( )"."n an"I can't help suspecting th
at you don't take this game seriously enough."n an"And how exactly do you want t
o do that" Pa bit more difficult." n "Haha, that's a good one, hoho!""(You d
idn't mean that, did you)" n "Although you ARE a bit devious (otherwise you w
ouldn't be playing this game), cannibalism is not one of your hobbies." nQ
"You wouldn't dare to.""Besides, he's all bones ayway." n "Naw, she's very ol
d and has probably become a bit stringy by now." n9 "Not for large amounts of
money." n EAT BASp with the game, please." n "I don't thin"london.pr1
",n"london.pr1", Eat) "Yech, no thanks!" ns "You're a very sick individual
and I would suggest psychiatric help as soon as possible." nr * o( ) "Th
e pizza baker stops you 'Hey, what about paying some money first'" nh / o( )
"The clerk pokes you in the eye and you drop the tin agqain." nN 1 o( ) "
I suggest you to take them first." n 2 o( ) "The salesman looks at you and
his eyes start filling with tears.""You quickly return the sandwich." nb 3 "Yo
u take another look at the strange composition and decide to leave it." n 4
o( ) "The salesman looks at you and snarls 'Give that back, or else...'""Since
you don't really want to know what else, you return the Soma." nk 5 o( ) "T
he clerk jumps up to you and grabs it out of your hand again." n 6 o( ) "Po
litely, the clerk asks you to put it back.""The large knife in his hand convince
s you." n 7 o( ) "The Chinese salesman delivers a sharp blow into your sola
r plexus.""As you wake up several hours later, he bows to you and says 'Sorry, h
onorable Sir, but you have to pay them first.'" ny 8 o( ) "The salesman s
ighs deeply and shakes his head.""Ashamed, you give it back." n o( ) "The
clerk interrupts you 'S-sorry, Sir, but I have to charge you some money forit or
my boss will get very angry.'" n V "I think you saw too many spy movies." n
o( ) "A waiter arrives and shouts 'Nein! Not wizzout paying ze meal!'""Baff
led by his horrible accent, you put it back." n "You're disgusting !!!""How
can you do that""You can't eat him without salt, maybe a bit of ketchup and mayb
e just a little ...excuse me. Won't happen again." n "Interesting idea. Have
you ever considered professional help with this little problem of yours" nQ
"No thanks, you're just trying to give up cannibalizing." nI "No way! Who k
nows where these people have been" nY "Neat idea, but getting rid of him will
be a bit more difficult." n "Haha, that's a good one, hoho!""(You didn't mea
n that, did you)" n "Although you ARE a bit devious (otherwise you wouldn't b
e playing this game), cannibalism is not one of your hobbies." nN "You wouldn'
t dare to.""Besides, he's all bones anyway."n "Naw, she's very old and has pr
obably become a bit stringy by now." n9 "Not for large amounts of money." n
"This cheap remake of 'Death Of A Salesman' would not be worthy of you." nz£
! "This is a politician! You have to be polite!""(Get it Nudge, nudge, grin, gr
in, wink, wink)" n q ( "Don't. They probably contain intoxicating stimuli that
might be bad for your health." n* ) "Yech, no thanks!" n + "The custom o
f killing the messenger to kill the message is of course well-known,but eating t
he pizza baker to get the pizza I don't know..." n "No, no and NO! That's a
VERY bad thing to do, you ought to be ashamed of your- self, cannibalism is a h
orrible thing to do unless you have a really fast-cooking microwave a
nd ...sorry." n F "The only way to do that would be to inhale him, but then y
ou run the risk of becoming possessed." nw G "I'm afraid you mixed somethin
g up""Douglas Adams is a frood, not a fruit!""Silly person." n I "We're very s
orry ab Pout that, but as the programmers of this game we can't allow this...""
A sixteen-ton-weight drops down from above, squashing you.""(We really hated to
do this, but you started it.)" K "He's not compatible with your diet." nB N
"No way. She's got far too many calories." n W "Sherlock Homeless pokes you i
n the eye with his pipe""'Please do not disturb me. I am thinking.'" n "Posit
ively not. Always remember You are what you eat.""Allright, maybe this was a bad
example..." nP k "You suckle it a bit and get a feeling of safety again." n
"Hey! Hey! HEY! Wait a minute!""The last tree has not yet been felled, the las
t fish not been caught and the last river not yet been poisoned!""(But we'll
tell you a secret Man can not eat money.)" n * "Aaaahhhh! If tastebuds were er
ogenous areas you probably would have experienced an orgasm in open public. This
is one of the best pizzas you've ever eaten." hunge o(*)F n / "You open the t
in and look at the indescribable stuff inside. Reluctantly, you let it slide d
own your throat. It tastes strange, but not altogether bad." hunge o(/) nt 1 "
Although they have been terribly mutilated, they taste allright." hunge o( ) n
2 "You still don't understand why the English make such a fuss about it. It tas
tes a bit like old wet paper." hunge o(2)8 n 4 "You take half a gramme and sud
denly feel light and happy. Nothing will come between you and your set goals
!""If only you could remember them... After a while, the feeling stops." hunge
o(4)$ n 5 "It's supposed to keep your breath fresh for two whole hours.""But o
f course there's normal breath, and then there's yours... The effect lasts for a
bout 37 seconds before your stench returns to normal." hunge o(5) 5 n 6 "Yu
aaaaarchhhh!""Why do you always forget not to breathe in heavily when you have t
hese things in your mouth" hunge o( ) n 7 "You open one of the eggs, ignore
the smell, swallow its contents and fall over. Someone takes you by the hand. De
ath looks at you not without pity.""WAS THAT REALLY NECESSARY NOW COME WITH ME
." 8 "A German commercial would say 'Schmeckt wie Fisch gepresst!'.""(If you
can't understand this joke, don't bother. It wasn't that good.)" hunge o(8)8 n
"Although it was of almost microscopic size, you suddenly don't feel hungry an
y more. Maybe you were filled by its name." hunge o() n "That was not bad, t
hough a bit on the unusual side. Strangely, you suddenly feelan inexplicable urg
e to yodel. Bravely, you fight it and avoid making a fool of yourself (...more t
han you already are)." hunge o()7 nv "You know, sometimes I wonder if peo
ple like you should be allowed to play a gamelike this..." nD n "Nah, that's n
ot necessary to win the game." n (E)P "You can't eat "rufnam( )", you strange
person." nf "Ahem... when we designed this game, this object was not intende
d to be eaten." nO "Obviously we are dealing with inferior mentality here." n
H "Very funny. Now continue with the game, please." n "I don't think your
stomach would agree." n nmetr n "Nah, that's not necessary to win the game." n
(E)P "You can't eat "rufnam( )", you strange person." nf "Ahem... when we
designed this game, this object was not intended to be eaten." nO "Obviously
we are dealing with inferior mentality here." nH "Very funny. Now continueEN
TER BASp((hese things simultaneously would be VERY difficult."n8"london.pr1",8
n"london.pr1",nt"IF YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION OR LOADING SAVED GAMES, THIS WA
S A HINT FOR YOURNEXT LIFE. COME ON NOW." b ,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,, , b"Then you craw
l out again."n"1000 years later, scientists all over the world are baffled by th
e fact th Pat apparently the old Egyptians already had wristwatches, towels
and even elec- tronic guides."C"Only more bloody.""BUT I LIKE IT, a dark voic
e says.""Everything works fine until a small particle of dust gets caught in you
r nose. You try to fight the sneeze, but you are powerless against the force of
nature.""*haaAAATCHOU!!!*"The elevator bursts and you (and about 2.500 other pe
ople) are falling quite a long way down from quite high up making quite a mess
on the ground.""Death looks at you and sighs"K"WELL, AT LEAST I CAN'T COMPLAIN A
BOUT NOT GETTING ENOUGH WORK.""SORRY, SINCE YOU ARE NOT DEAD, I CAN'T DO ANYTHIN
G FOR YOU.""Obviously, you are unable to continue this game in your current shap
e."£BASI"london.pr1",EnterI "Ahem... it's much too small to be entered.""Silly."
n' "Please be serious."n "Hey, come on, this is a serious adventure!""NO, IT ISN
'T.""Sorry..."n "You can't."n5 "You have no permission to do so."n f()"No. It's
dark and narrow in there!"n"You wouldn't like it in there. Just dust and some d
ead notes."no "Look, I agree you're completely bananas, but this is no reason fo
r doing things like that!"nq "This is not the time for swimming in boiling hot l
iquids.""It's not even Tea Time, either."n8 "Your claustrophobia would kill you.
"nM "This is hardly the right way to go into movie business!"n %"Not without su
ffering various internal injuries, you manage to squeeze yourself into the eleva
tor. The elevator shudders and starts moving up."3 "Yeah, you'd probably do that
."n8 "And exactly HOW would you do that"n* "He won't let you in."n spiele)"You
can't reach him."n"'What's all this, then Get out of my jacket!'""The policeman
puts you back on the floor."nJ "Do you think the acoustics would be better in t
here"n "Beggars are always glad to get something, but even they have their pride
!"n7 "It's much too dangerous in there."n "Naw, living inside people is no fun."
nc "Since you are no Alien(TM) you don't like getting into other people's bodies
."n "YES, COME TO ME, Death beckons you.""You get the feeling he'd do something
nasty to you and wisely let it be."n "'Today's youth has no respect for elderly
people any more!' she shouts as you try to enter her pocket. You undo your act
ions."nQ "Life inside a clerk is mostly boring. You wouldn't like it."n "What !!
!"n0 "No. You are not that thin."n/ "His body is not for sale."nl£ "Swimming in
money, eh Not in this game!""Apart from that, you're not Uncle Scrooge."n "Cash
machines are a bad place to be."n7 "As Aerosmith said Walk This Way!"n "You can'
t enter that.""(I bet you thought there would be something extremely funny now,
didn't you)"n0 "You are not liquid enough."nr "You climb up into the upper store
y of the bed and try to sleep, but you keep falling out."nG "It's hard enoug
h to get something OUT of it, pal!"n !"He smiles expectantly, so you let it be."
n ""You try entering it by putting it over your head. After your passion is arou
sed shortly, you die of asphyxiation.""BETTER LEAVE THAT TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW
DO DO THAT, Death says."& #"No way (really)."n $ o(C) "turndisk", "An emp
loyee tosses you out and says (with a Czech accent)""'You need a ticket, you sil
ly person. Hey! Haven't I seen you somewhere before'" n1 &"The salesman won't le
t you."nb '"Manet makes the world go round, they say, but you can't enter his pa
intings."nn ("They refuse to make you a member of their sect and then continue d
ancing and singing."n& )"Are you kidding"n1 *"No way. No way out, either."nF
+"'Heyyy man, giddout of da oven, man!'""You do."n , f()"As you open it, a few t
entacles reach out towards you and you quickly slam it shut."n"You can't."n8 -
"Swimming is not per Pmitted in here."nX ."Svimin isnodt alouvd inzid Oranjeboo
m. (Not everyone will get it.)"nQ /"It's better not to open it until you really
want to eat it!"n 0"Not even for large amounts of money."n, 1"Are you being seri
ous"n 2"I think Metallica once did a song similar to that, 'Enter sandwich' or s
ome- thing like that.""But that's unimportant. You can't enter it."n. 3 ( )"
NO!"nB 4"This should be quite a difficult task to do."n+ 5"Come on, be sensible!
"n 6"Get real."nO 7"I agree you are a chicken sometimes, but that's too much."nb
8"Food is not to be entered in this game (Not in any other games I know, too)."
n 9"The salesman is afraid of you and weeps 'Get out... please... boohoo...'
You do him the favour."n "HOW DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT, a hollow voice from ne
xt door announces."n "It's too small even for an ant to enter."nN "He says 'Dehs
gaehd doch neddohh', which means 'No way'."n "Not without difficulties, you cra
wl inside the diskdrive and discover a light switch which you flick several ti
mes.""Like this. Look!" "Huh"nQ f()"It's shaking too violently."n spiele*8 "Try
entering the subway, not the plan."nM A"The electricity, however low it may be,
might kill you."n B"Not."n! C"How, silly"n9 D"You can not, I repeat, NOT do tha
t!"n E"No."no F"You march right through him and he says 'Thou canst not enter ye
worlde of ye spirits!'"n£ G"How can you dare""The programmers rush in and str
angle you.""Death looks amused and carries you away without making any further c
omment." H"Inside, it's very dark, narrow and generally unpleasant. You hear a v
oice like a deep bell inside your head""HI." I tr"The programmers can not be en
tered.""(Next time you might not be so lucky!)"n"That's it!""They transform you
into something that looks like an abstract statue by Picasso." J"The stone plate
absorbs you and suddenly there are FOUR gods standing there. Two-dimensional
ized, you look at Death, who regards the plate with great in- terest." K"He h
its you on the head with an empty plastic bottle, which doesn't hurt too much
, but is pretty unnerving."n% L"It has no door."n M"Your current rank does not a
llow this."n- N"No.""You would drown."n O pound "You can't afford it." n "
As you step into the machine, lights start flickering around you..." pound pound
"turndisk",2V P"You bravely stride forward into the telephone box." spiele8C Q"Y
ou're no coin (and not even half as worthy)."n9 R"No. T'is impossible (got the p
un)."nB S"That could turn out to be quite a problem..."na T"You'd get wet. And g
etting wet in this fountain would really be very silly."n U"You wrestle it open,
jump out and are flattened 20 feet below.""Death looks at you slightly surprise
d and says OH, IT'S YOU AGAIN."l V"Not notes. Not now. Never. Nitwit.""(We apolo
gize for the unneccesary alliterations)"n W"'Stop, let me guess. You want to ent
er me, right You don't need to.'""Baffled by his knowledge, you obey."n X"Try en
tering the room by going somewhere."n Y"Not today."n) Z"Try to knock first."n'
"'Wodd', he says."n, "Try eating it instead."n% "Try opening it."n "And now an e
xample of parsing in earlier, dull adventures (or LOCUSFILM Games)""You can't en
ter that."n "Nah."n "You can't. (That was dull, wasn't it)"ng( e)"Mme Tussaud a
ppears, hits you with a wax umbrella and swears in French."nt e"You are neither
valuable nor small enough." f()"Apart from that, it's closed."nng( e h)"Mme Tuss
aud appears, hits you with a wax umbrella and swears in French."n h"You hear a v
oice scolding 'Leave me alone!'""As y Pou look around, you see that not the st
atue, but an old man in a wheelchair next to it spoke to you." o(j)n i"You needn
't enter it to get money changed."nO j"You try sitting in his wheelchair, but he
pushes you out."n k"You hide your head under it. If you could see, you'd notice
the people around you looking much more relieved now. After a while you remov
e it again."n3 l"No, you'd probably damage it."n9 m"You already are in a compute
r game."n n"No thanks. It would be too loud in there."n o"Being inside all these
things simultaneously would be VERY difficult."nfficult."nu already are in a co
mputer game." nmetr."n k"You hide your head under it. If you could see, you'd no
tice the people around you looking much more relieved now. After a while you r
emove it again."n3 l"No, you'd probably damage it."n9 m"You alread d"Insert Si
de 3 and press any key" £ "talkd ZHn x"Insert Side 1 and press any key" £ "re
aper-ax nny key" £ "talkd Z f() "smirnoffP Fply key" £ "menu-a( B2 "Ins
ert Side 3 and press any key" £ "vr 2uF P"Insert Side 3 and press any key" £
f() "waclav" f() "smirnoffP FDZGAME RNDp,n $$$ "london.pr1",n'.3 (
(E)3"You take a random look at one of the games."L "It is a soccer simulati
on called 'The Umpire Strikes Back'F "It's quite and old game called 'Hunt Th
e ASCII-Sign'd( "Wow! It's the two classic adventures ''The Hitchhiker's Guid
e To Praha'' I & II!"2 "It has an ancient wizard on the cover of its package.
Apparently it's a maths game called 'Stryke Ye Donkey'.""Strange. "It's th
e graphic adventure ''Jester's Quest - The Tale Of Lester The Jester''. Apparen
tly someone finished programming it before Electric Monk did.WF "It's 'Monkey
Island III - Guybrush Grows A Beard' by Lokusfilm Games.KP "It is the classi
c conversation program 'Project Higgins'.WZ "It is a tool for emulating a Cra
y II Computer on a Sinclair Spectrum.Td "Judging by the disk's label it only
contains the file 'LOONY.BIN'.n "It is a sports compilation called 'Czech Ga
mes'.""The events include Carrying a dog, Riding a bycicle on a balcony railing,
Racing taxis and Insulting tourists. x "It's the famous 4D Abstruction
Kit by Weirdsoft.""After the release of this program the company went bankrupt
because nobody really understood how to use the program.Y "It's the game
'The Last Temptation Of Christ', another movie adaption.E "It's a Jump 'n R
un game called 'Super Indio Bros.' "It's the programming language Turbo Pasca
l, version 42.03.""The package reads 'Plus 30% more unnecessary commands and 10
new totally incomprehensible function calls!' "It i
s quite a big textadventure called 'The Bible'.""Someone has written 'HIGH SCORE
07 Days' on the disk's label.H "It is an African tribe simulation called 'Si
m Babwe'. "It is the movie-based game 'The Naked Gun 2 1/2'.""Strangely enoug
h, they seem to have made a strategy game out of it.A "It is a cartoon simula
tion called 'Sim Psons'.C "It is the classic Jump 'n Run game 'Bomb Czech'.E
"It's a fool's simulation called 'Sim Plicissimus'.3X ( ) "london.pr1",
n $$$ "london.pr1",n'.3 ( ) "london.pr1",n ss anu 47 pounds." o() o() p
ound/ nN "The clerk says 'I will only change foreign currencies.'"nF"The clerk s
ays 'I'm afraid this is no foreign currency.'"np ,,,, ,,, not from a Czech car,
but if you give me some other Czech currency, like a bicycle or a holy nose, I
could exchange it for a few pounds.'" o()n o() "The clerk takes it and sa
ys 'All right, here you are!' and hands yo P GIVE BASpJ,,, p ,,,, p
,,,, is8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",nD (rufnam( )) , "to " Urufnam( a)"the t
hings in your pocket" o( a) spiele ob , ($," ") , c a o( c) spiele ob
c rufnam( ob) £ c J , ($," ") , rufnam( ob)£ £C5( () (I)) c ob a c a c
/ o( c) spiele ob c c2( () (H)) c ob c c a/ o( c) spiele ob c cH( (/) (L)) c ap
o obp Drufnam( a)"the other things" o( a) ob£ , ($," ") , c a o( c) o
b c rufnam( ob) £ c R , ($," ") , rufnam( ob) £ £C5( () (I)) c
ob a c a c' o( c) ob c c2( () (H)) c ob c c a' o( c) ob c cH( (/) (L)) c ap o ob
p 1 o "Oh, the fun we have." n8 o "He doesn't move so you can't." n o
( spiele)) "He takes the cello and says 'What's all this, then A cello! A mus
ical instru- ment! Now I can become a busker! Thank you!'""He unlocks the door t
o your cell and lets you out. Then he runs away."£ o ( spiele)) spiele% o
() o()6o()"some ink"rufnam()"the ink" f() 8C o"'What's all this, then You can't
bribe me!'"nP o "Your present does not interest "rufnam( o)"." nP o "The beg
gar says 'Is that all Then I don't want it!'" nT o "He laughs 'You're not gonn
a fool me this time, Ramirez!'" n o f() "He takes the cassette, puts i
t into his video camera and takes a short look at the film." f() "He gives it
back to you, says 'There's nothing on it!' and continues to laugh." n o
f() "'THE BIRDS! I've been looking for this film all over London! Thanks!'""H
e hands you a bottle of Smirnoff." o( ) o(-) f() n o "'I didn't want that
', he complains and gives it back." nA o "He ignores you and continues to laug
h." nK o "She gives you an empty look and shakes her head." nN o "I HAVE NO
USE FOR YOUR WORTHLESS TRASH, Death says." n o Y o(Y)"'Thank you so much, you ha
ve no idea of how much I needed that.'" f()"She hands you the note saying 'I had
almost used this one, you know...'" o(V) o Y"Then she runs off to the nearest t
oilet. A few minutes later, she reappears and looks very relieved." f()n o (
B spiele) "You don't need to do that in this game." nb o spiele""Clerks are t
aught not to take anything from strangers."nF o "Salesmen sell things, they do
n't take them." n o! " "He thanks you and says 'That was all I needed for m
y pleasures! Thank you!'""Then he gives you a big sloppy kiss, hands you an empt
y pen and runs off." o() o(!) o(") o! " "After a while, a newspaper salesma
n arrives and shouts""'Extra! Extra! Tory MP found dead in bed wearing straps, h
andcuffs and a plastic bag over his head!'" o! " "You take a look at the n
ewspaper and see a picture of the MP. His head can not be seen under the bag, b
ut the big grinning face of Colin Curly (TM) on the bag gives the picture the lo
ok of a ghastly sick joke."E o! " "The newspaper salesman leaves." n o! "
He looks at you with half-closed eyes, saying 'Hmmmm, that's soo sweet of you,
but PI'm afraid I can't accept that, sweetie pie.'" nd o( ( , f()) "Thei
r leader says 'Book all right. Not worry.'" n o( , "They look at it and the
ir leader says 'Book be broken. We repair for you.'""They dance around it in a s
trange way making even stranger noises and suddenly, the air seems to be charged
with suspense." o( , "Then you hear a loud scream and the Hare Krishnas st
op dancing.""Their leader gives it back to you and says 'Book all right now.'" f
() nO o( "They seem to be quite happy with what they have got." nz o)"It is af
raid and crawls into a corner.""You put "rufnam( )" away and it comes out again.
"n2 o+ "He's too busy shouting." nJ o "NO THANK YOU, a deep voice from next
door says." n o - "He shouts 'Sm"()"rn"()"ff!', takes your card and runs of
f with it.""A few minutes later he reappears, gives you your card and says" o(-)
e o - "'You have now a SM"()"RN"()"FF CARD!'" f() nJ oF "He replies 'Thou
may keep thy mortal trinkets.'" n oG "Douglas Adams thanks you and takes
the pen.""Then he " f() "hands you a nice cup of really hot tea." o() o() n "
looks at it and gives it back, saying 'It's empty.' oG f() n "Douglas
Adams says'Thanks, but now I must start writing. Excuse me...'""You leave and D
ouglas Adams locks the door behind you." durchgan(,) spiele 8/ oG "He refuses
politely." nt oI "The programmers look at your offer, whisper to each other an
d then fall over laughing." n oK "He replies 'Your sacrifice is too small,
mortal!' and hits you on the head with his empty plastic bottle." nE oN "She i
gnores you and continues watching TV." nh oW "He stops you and says""'Thank yo
u, but I don't need "rufnam( )".'" n o "He looks at you puzzled and takes a ph
oto of you, mumbling""'Zis is fun! Ze natives wiz ze primitive presents!'""Offen
ded, you keep "rufnam( )"." nU oj "He says 'What the hell should I do with "o(
)"'" nA on "The speaker does not want to be interrupted." o "Gerry N. Bower
looks at "rufnam( )" and growls refusingly" n"Sorry, "rufnam( o)" is no real pe
rson."n o()"He takes it and says 'Well, it is not exactly holy, but if you give
me some other Czech currency, like a bicycle or a pair of wiper blades, I c
ould exchangeit for a few pounds.'" o()n o() "The clerk takes it and says
'All right, here you are!' and hands you 47 pounds." o() o() pound/ n o()"He ta
kes it and says 'Well, it is not from a Czech car, but if you give me some other
Czech currency, like a bicycle or a holy nose, I could exchange it for a few p
ounds.'" o()n o() "The clerk takes it and says 'All right, here you are!'
and hands you 47 pounds." o( ) o() pound/ nN "The clerk says 'I will only change
foreign currencies.'"nF"The clerk says 'I'm afraid this is no foreign currency.
'"np ,,,, p ,,,, p ,,,, is is no foreign currency.'"np ,,,, a holy nose, I coul
d exchange it for a few pounds.'" o()n o() "The clerk takes it and says '
All right, here you are!' and hands you 47 pounds." o( ) o() pound/ nN "The cler
k says 'I will only change foreign currencies.'"nF"The clerk says 'I'm afraid th
is is no foreign currency.'"np ,ze that this is an entirely futile task." n3£"I'
m afraid there's been some mistake." ,,,, on't plnk that would make much sense.
" nw ( U oS) S oU "No, you wouldn't want to destroy "rufnam( o)"." n( m o
) "None of these games is compatible software for Amigas.""Anyway, you should be
ashamed of yourself, playing games while there's so much yet to be done!" nU
m "Of course you reali PINSULT BASpnnz "Death looks a bit sad and says I'M N
OT BAD. I'VE 8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n"london.pr1", insultations to be f()
"The digitized personality is much too good-willing to be affected by your feebl
eefforts to insult him (He is the very difference to WACLAV)"n"No. He would swit
ch himself off."nj "Don't be stupid. These wiper blades haven't done anything to
you, so why insult them"n "If this nose would belong to someone living it would
be possible to laugh about its enormous format. It must once have belonged to R
aymond Luxury Yacht."n "This is a totally uninsultable thingumabob."n "Wait 'til
l you find the original. This is just like talking to a video tape (ever tri
ed that out)."n f()"After you have released a few quite strong curses dedicated
to classical music you see that the cello is quite unimpressed by your attempt
."nT "No racism in HITCHHIKER (TM) games (not even to foreign fruit)!"n "All rig
ht, English Tea has got nothing to do with the myths about it.It tastes alot lik
e squeezed socks, boiled to a quite high temperature. But what could you say to
a cup And what would it respond No fun!"n "You start shouting silly things at th
e microphone. But as you see that the only result is that some lights start flas
hing you shut up and think about this ex- perience."nN "How can you The poor l
ittle thingy can't defend itself!"n "Don't make it sad. It might be useful (a hi
nt, A HINT! THIS IS A HINT!)"n "'You silly screwdriver, can you hear me You can
stick yourself up your a**!'""(Do you feel relieved now)"n "It's a virtual huma
nity creature. It isn't real. It can't hear you. (F***ing stu-pid th
ingy, iddn't it I'll be darn'd if I ever got such a $*&%#! job!)"n "His job is d
epressing him too much. Don't be nasty! FOR BILL GATES' SAKE INSULT HIM, YOU TUN
AHEAD OF A WIMP! (You wouldn't dare if you saw his DANGEROUS trun- cheon)"nm "H
e wouldn't even hear you. There's too much noise from one of his colleagues n
earby."n "'How d'ya like siddin' here inna mud, ya lazy scum o'the earth Eh'""'E
xcuse me, Sir, but I don't talk in this deep level of language. Would you mindmo
ving out of the sun a bit'""(That was a point, wasn't it)" "You don't have the w
ords to insult him. The best invectives you have are just worth to give a mild
description of his appearance."n "No way. He has a CPC and teaches history to t
he programmers. This could be dangerous (Think out some insultation of your
own)."n "She may have an empty look, but she has good ears. As you mumble to fi
nd out what to say, she starts to giggle and then bursts out into tremendous
laughter."n po "Don't be nasty to elderly people. (They might strike you on
the head with an umbrella)"n "I can't help suspecting you're not taking this
games seriously enough."n "Now, I won't explain to you what a button is. Let you
r imagination work. One hint It's of no use insulting it."n7 "Ever though
t of reading it first"n "Let's do and say we didn't... Let's did and say... aw,
I mean, if he is insulted he might not sell you anything anymore. This w
ould be bad for your in- ventory."n "Oops, your money ran away! Some Danes jump
out of a dark corner and sing noisily'It ain't funny makin fun of money!' They h
ave some weird instruments and a flagreading D. A. D. (which means great band)"
POUNDn£ "I know you are insane. But this was not one of your strange ideas, wasn
't it (Well, it was Uh-oh!)"ng "You should consult your doctor with that littl
e problem of yours! This is nasty!"n "Saying 'hole filled with shit' would cause
any other toilet to close its lid quickly to show its embarrassment, but thi
s one seems to be sort of proud!"nR "Do you think it's funny running around and
insulting things"n "'You are an amazingly smelling and stained flea trap!'""I do
n't think this piece of furniture followed your remark."nI "Apparently the INSU
LT function is of no P proper use."nj !"You could call him a dirty li
ttle inverted pervert, but this would just describehim."nf ""The face of Colin C
urly (TM) on it is even worse than one of your naughty words."nk #"Since it's no
t a holy sign I'll let you make up some insulting words in your mind."n $"Oka
y, it is a suckway, sometimes a stuckway, more often a f***way, but that's jus
t the truth. Try to feel something like pride to be able to ride this piece of
ye anciente history"n %"'Love in an elevator...' would be totally impossible her
e without 300 thousand people staring at you in disgust. This part-time strikin
g thingy is overcrowded and even worse than its Czech cousins."n &"Guardian step
s out of a dark corner and shouts 'Hey, Monk! Has anyone tested thesense for rea
lity of this guy' - 'Don't think so, but let him continue. He's funny!' a voic
e form nowhere replies."n '"Spit at it! Its painted by Manet, so nobody will rea
lize it. His style of pain- ting is much the same as throwing up at it."n ("You
laugh a bit about their religion, but soon you are shut up by some human ward
robe called Harry Kreesna."nx )"Let the other Austrians try. You don't know how
to say 'Doo depperta Sowbahzee, wooest a wahtshn'"nm *"'Hey, man, wadda ya doing
Eat it or give it back, canneloni brain!', Pizza-Man shouts."nt +"If he could h
ear you shouting at the crowd, he would recognize your typical German accent
."ng ,"Remember the episode about this mighty book in part I I wouldn't risk it
again!"n -"It shows much similarity to the Pangalactic Gargle Blaster, a drink c
alled the liquid equivalent to an armoured assault. And have you ever insulted
an armouredassault"n ."That's amazing. I didn't think of that input. Wait What a
bout me saying This is silly Not good Sorry."n5 /"You don't even know what it i
s!"nk 0"Calling this brown ugly liquid Coke is already an insult. But only to no
rmal Coke."n 1"Some passing Austrians start to laugh as you start to stare at
the frog with a rather stupid expression on your face."n 2"You can't insult th
is object. (I'm sure you expected something funny here, didn't you Sorry, b
ut I can't think of anything funny now.)"n "insult.clep (E) "He doesn't seem
to be affected. He continues to grin at you." nHq (E) "SORRY, says Death. I'M
ONLY DOING MY JOB." npr (E) "Death looks a bit sad and says I'M NOT BAD. I'VE J
UST BEEN PROGRAMMED THAT WAY." n s pys." uour face."n 2"You can't insult this ob
ject. (I'm sure you expected something funny here, didn't you Sorry, but I
can't think of anything funny now.)"n "insult.clep (E) "He doesn't seem to b
e affes silly Not good Sorry."n5 /"You don't even know what it is!"nk 0"Calling
this brown ugly liquid Coke is already an insult. But only to normal Coke."n
1"Some passing Austrians start to laugh as you start to stare at the frog with a
rather stupid expression on your face."n 2"You can't insult this object. (I'm
sure you expected something funny here, didn't you Sorry, but I can't think
of anything funny now.)"nys." uINSULT CLEptold me for the last two years!'("lo
ndon.pr1",ns spiele "She just continues to grin at you. You begin to suspect
that she must be either a) deaf,""b) dead, or""c) stoned.v spiele "You call hi
m a disgusting little creep.""He replies 'Maybe. As long as you buy my stuff...'
spiele "You call him a four-eyed spot face. He starts to cry.""'Sir... that's
the nicest thing anyone has told me for the last two years!'("london.pr1",ns!'"
nDeath leaning over you.""COME ON, he says." u spiele "She just continues to
grin at you. You begin to suspect that she must be either a) deaf,""b) dead, or
""c) stoned.v spiele "You call him a disgusting little creep.""He replies 'May
be. As long as you buy my stuff...' spiele "You call him a four-eyed spot face
. He starts to cry.""'Sir... that's the nicest thing anyone has PINSULT2 BASp!
!"The salesman shouts 'Hey! Don't you insult my things!'"8"london.pr1",8n"london
.pr1",n"brain is sm... Oh, sorry, but this scene is only in the adult version.""
Death looks at your smashed carcass and tries not to burst out laughing.""THAT W
AS... WELL, LET'S SAY NOT EXACTLY VERY WISE OF YOU. COME NOW." "london.pr1",More
insultations 3 "Don't be stupid! This breakfast is so dead, even Death would
refuse talking to it.""THAT'S RIGHT, a hollow voice announces." n 4 "And what
do you think you could say to that 'Drug me till I hug you, honey' or what (Ins
ider joke for people who've read Brave New World)" n/ 5 "Scram, garlic breath!
" n 6 "Don't insult Guardian's favourite candy. He might get angry and switch
you off. You know, he's quite incalculable when he is angry." n 7 "Don't lose
your line. Just play your part! ('The world's a stage, and each must play his pa
rt' as some remarkable person said)" n 8 o(8) "Why did you buy it if you do
n't like it" n "I see no reason to insult poor smelly greasy fishy ugly lumps o
f food." n 9 "The owner would start to weep again, so you let it be (wasn't th
is a wise deci- sion, independantly done by yourself)" n "If you would see th
e owner of these feet you wouldn't even dare to sing 'And didthose feet in ancie
nt time...'.""THAT'S ALL RIGHT, LET HIM HAVE HIS FUN, a voice like closing coffi
n lids re- sounds." nX "This could become a very long speech, so you bette
r let it be." n "Not quite understanding what you said and unsure what to rep
ly, he just says 'A"()()"a!'" n "This dirty little bastard of a toy is not
worth to be called a computer. I won'tlet you insult this silly piece of silici
um and plastic. This fuckin' unable-to-count-machine has to be insulted by mysel
f! (sorry...)" nU "Nah, what would you say to this tiny little piece of metal
" nq "You are much too afraid this huge chunky container could fall down, may
be even on you!" n "'Why are there always plans nobody understands hanging o
n walls who aren't much brighter Why doesn't the subway keep to this plan' are t
he thoughts that strike you. But you just say 'Damn!'" np A "They seem to be d
esperate enough. Besides, they are too dim to understand your words." n B "Di
dn't you see the number on it This must be a sign of God! And you have no- thi
ng better to do than to insult this piece of fordliness! Be ashamed!" n C "Do
you think it's funny running around insulting objects that can't understand you
anyway I don't. Besides, this is very impolite and all London knows now that
you probably come from Germany, you stupid ignorant!" n D "'So where 'ov ya b
een, ya unworthy lil' piece of paper Not talkin', eh Don'tlet yerself be stole
n again or I will burn you, fry you and get another one!' I thought that was n
ecessary to be told this dirty brat!" n E "It's a flight ticket of the Animal'
s class. This means you any invectives you'd find would only describe this mess.
" n F "He's a ghost, and he speaks Ye Olde English, which you don't understand
. Maybe something like 'Thou suckst!' would be fitting." n G "Have you gone c
ompletely mad This is the God Of English Literature! You can't call this hoopy
frood names!" n H "Do you know any old-Egyptian curses I don't! But I know the
y were quite useful to kill sarcophagus-insulters!" n I "They are not amused a
nd switch you off. As you fade (which you would see now if you had a GGA(Giga-gr
aphics adaptor)-card with 3.9*10222 colors), Death grins and takes you by the
hand." J "As you swear at it, you activate a strange mechanism and the plate
drops on yourhead. After this last short and intense feeling of a god, your skul
l bursts,your" J K "As you open your mouth, he threatens you with his C
heap Coke (TM) bottle. So youshut your mouth again." n/ L "It's of stone, sill
y!" nH M "The fat australian lady can do it much better." n N "Don't be unfa
ir. This macrophagic and overweighty lump of P fat has no guilt for her appear
ance. You should see her, it's too funny! Grrmmphaha! Sorry." nf O "Huahuahua!
That was a good one! (you didn't really think about it, did you)" nV P "You s
hould try to use the phone in order to talk to someone!" n Q "It rings. You li
ft the receiver. 'Hey you dirty little bastard of a f***ing per-vert. I could ev
en compare you with a Tory MP!' You didn't even have the time toreply 'Bitch', b
efore the lady hung up." nW R "You remember your problems with notes in Praha
and let it be." nu S "It doesn't burst when you insult it. Maybe you should ex
pand your horizon (THIS IS A HINT!)" n£ T "You could say something to the nude
shameless naughties standing in there if they lived and were defined objects
(which they are not!)" nb U "You could call it a dangerous throat-cutter, but
that's just what it is." n V "No, note need not be insulted. (Can you think o
f a funnier error message)""(Editor's note Try to say this 10 times very fast wi
thout breaking your tongue)" n W "'Stop, let me guess, don't say anything!' Sh
erlock says, 'You want to honor my work. You want to say how great and infallia
ble I am. This expression in your face says everything!' - '!' you reply." nY
X "It's the door to the room haunted by some Austrians. Nuff said." n1 Y "It
isn't even used yet!" n Z "You didn't really want to insult this treasure, th
is incomparable sign of wealthand... and... ah, no. Don't waste your words on th
is unworthy object." n "He's fat, dumb German, wears a strange hat, lederhose
n and a colorful shirt on his body filled and stained with lager. Why insult so
meone that similar to you" n "'Waiter, what does this Bratwurst and Sauerkrau
t do in my plate' - 'They laugh about your german accent, mister!'" n "'Open,
you bloody lock!', you shout.""The chest creaks. It sounded strangely like 'Nnn
evverrr'." nF "This would take some time. Better let it be." n "If you'd t
ry to insult all of them you'd never be finished. After all, you are not Wowbag
ger the Infinitely Prolonged. (Sorry, insider joke!)" nZ "It turns dark with
anger. But that makes no apparent difference." n a "You shout at him for some
time until you realize he's a wax figure." nc b "Watch your language, my frien
d. Others might not be as forgiving as I am!" n c "The heavy axe drops out of
his hand, slicing you in half.""Death says THE FEATHER IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWOR
D, BUT THE AXE IS MIGHTIER THAN THE WORD. FORGIVE ME THIS TINY JOKE, BUT I H
AVE SO LITTLE FUN." d "They don't listen to you, because they are made of WAX
!""Stupid Git." nY e "I strongly believe you have gone completely bananas, my
friend." nL f "You call him unsporty, but I think he'd like that." nv g "Of
course, you wouldn't dare to do so if they were real.""Well, you wouldn't, would
you" n h "A man sitting in the wheelchair next to the statue mumbles 'That wo
uldn't have been allowed in the old days!" o(j) nP i "You call it an expensiv
e throat-cut. The clerk agrees." n j "He pulls out a razor knife. 'I had never
thought I'd use this baby again', he grins. The next grinning thing you see i
s Death leaning over you.""COME ON, he says." k "Aw, come on! This towel is t
he only friend you have in this game!" n- l "It doesn't respond." n m "The p
rogrammers rush in, kick you several times and disappear again." n n "The spea
ker starts to hold a speech about silly people who run around insutling everyone
. You suddenly feel very guilty." nP o "The salesman shouts 'Hey! Don't you in
sult my things!'" n is Death leaning over you.""COME ON, he says." uk "Aw, come
on! This towel is the only friend you have in this game!" n- l "It doesn't re
spond." n m "The programmers rush in, kick you several times and disappear aga
in." n n "The speaker starts to hold a speech about silly people who run aroun
d insutling everyone. You suddenly feel very guilty." nP o PKILL BASp try
ing to kill helpless inanimate objects"nn"london.pr1",n"WHAT A SENSELESS WASTE O
F HUMAN LIFE, Death says, coming out of some dark corner. NOW COME ON, WE'
VE GOT QUITE A WAY TO GO." "There is a disgusting cracking noise, and as you ope
n your eyes again, you see your body lying shattered on the floor. Something mo
ves in the shadows behind you. A dark tall hooded figure looks at you. It is D
eath.""YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW OFTEN PEOPLE TRY TO DO THIS, he says.""BUT ENOUGH
OF THIS TALKING, WE HAVE QUITE A LONG WAY TO GO." "forms of behaviour is trying
out all kinds of silly commands in text adventures,probably the most undignified
act ever seen in front of computer screens." n"london.pr1",Kill "I'm sorry, but
stone statues are not real persons. Bedides, I think Admiral Nelson is alre
ady dead for quite some time now."n "You hit him several times, but it doesn't
seem to harm him very much."n spiele)"You can't reach him through the iron bars
."n"He stops your blow with his truncheon."nE "That would be no appropriate form
of criticism."nA "Now come on, why would you want to do that"n "Furiously, you
leap forward. Czech dodges, pulls out a razor and cuts you in half. Ge glad t
his is no graphic adventure."4 "Why He's not laughing at YOU!"nT "She protests l
oudly. Baffled by her strange dialect, you stop."nW "An interesting idea. How do
you kill someone who is already dead"nc "Wait ten years and the problem will so
lve itself (Oh, this was a nasty one!)."nG "It won't help you solving your perso
nal problems."n "The only result would be bloody hands and quite a mess. Better
don't."ne !"You miss him. He grins at you and says 'I have no intention of dying
so soon!'"n ("You can't bring yourself to do it because they look so peaceful a
nd happy."nn )"Basically a good idea, but it panics and starts screaming, so you
decide to let it live."nh +"He hits you with a piece of old pizza that has beco
me rather hard by now.""Ouch."n "He produces some very high-pitched noises which
shake your skull violently and finally split your brain. Death looks pitiful a
t you, shakes his head, sighs andsays COME ON."f F"You hit right through him. 'T
hou canst not kill ye spirits, mortal!', he sneers."n5 G"Don't! That would be bl
asphemy!"n I"Now listen. We are the programmers of this game, and we just can't
allow anyone to kill us. But you had to try it, so there.""A hidden trap door op
ens beneath your feet and sends you screaming down a dark pit." K"He hits you o
ver the head with an empty plastic Coke bottle and screams 'Nobody can kill the
Almighty One!'"nZ N"You strike her several times, but her corpulence absorbs you
r blows."n W"With a swift movement he places his violin bow between your ribs.""
THAT'LL TEACH YOU, says Death, coming out of a cupboard." "He swings his camera
at you menacingly and you wisely leave him alone."nG 7"Whatever is in there, I'm
sure it's already dead."ng j"No. You're not the kind of person to kill old defe
nseless people. (Or are you!)"nl£ n"Hey! There's enough senseless violence if yo
u play this game according to the rules!"n an(E) an"Trying to kill lifeless ob
jects is not exactly a sign of cleverness."n3 an"You can't kill that, stupid."n-
an"Are you being serious"n an"And here, Ladies and Gentlemen, we can once more
observe the Stupidius Informati-ces, commonly known as The Jerk In Front Of The
Keyboard. One of the typical" an"Have you ever considered taking a break and pla
ying a Shoot-'em-up Game to let off steam instead of trying to kill helpless in
animate objects"n G "" y when you really want" n nan"You can't kill that, stu
pid."n- an"Are you being serious"n an"And here, Ladies and Gentlemen, we can onc
e more observe the Stupidius Informati-ces, commonly known as The Jerk In Front
Of The Keyboard. One of the ty Pakes the world go round, they say, but you can'
t enter his paintings."nn ("They refuse to make you a member of their sect and t
hen continue dancing and singing."n& )"Are you kidding"n1 *"No way. No way ou
t, either."nF +"'Heyyy man, giddout of da oven, man!'""You do."n , f()"As you op
en it, a few tentacles reach out towards you and you quickly slam it shut."n"Y
ou can't."n8 -"Swimming is not LONDON PR1p))"You have died from lack of water."
"CHEERS, says Death, LONDON.PR18 spiele "You are standing in the Austrians' ro
om. Several Austrians sit around on beds and in corners and clothes and shoes
are strewn all over the floor.""The stench of cheap perfume and feet almost kill
s you." 9 rau( spiele)P spiele "Disgusted and horrified, you flee." spiele 8C
spiele o(U) spiele o(U)( spiele spiele) spiele* spiele spiele
spiele0) (E) F (E) o() spiele( spiele spiele) spiele* spiele) (E )
(E ) o() spiele o()"some buskers"rufnam()"the buskers" o()"a busker"rufnam
()"the busker"c spiele o() spiele o() spiele o()j( spiele spiele
spiele spiele( spiele7) o(#) spiele( spiele spiele spiele spiele")
o() spieleA( spieleN o()N) "Apart from that, it has got Czech the Ripper in i
t."kB( spiele" spiele$ spiele& spiele8 spiele) o() spieleC spiele o(
)o()"a busker"rufnam()"the busker" JD( spiele spieleE spiele*) o() spieleE(
spiele spiele) spiele* spiele spieleN) b(E ) b b(E ) o() spieleF( s
piele spiele spiele# spiele$ spiele, spiele/ spiele4 spiele5 spi
ele8 spiele spiele) o($) spiele o() spiele o() spieleG( spiele spieleA
spieleC spieleD spieleF spieleG spieleI spieleJ spieleK spieleL)
o($) spiele o() spiele o() spieleH spiele f() "From a shower cabin next to y
ou, you can hear someone moaning in Spanish. You wonder if this person has
also had some of your improved breakfast."ZI( spiele spiele3 spiele spiel
eH) o() spieleJ( spiele spiele) spiele* spiele spieleN spiele() p(E)
p o(I) spieleK( spiele spiele) spiele* spiele spieleN spiele() d(
E) d o() spiele#L spiele o()D spiele- "press any key" £ "turndisk","You
see" gedruck a o( ) spiele"- "o( ) gedruck ' gedruck"- nothing special"i( spi
ele0 o()0)"Dr. Wossname kindly escorts "rufnam()" outside." o()a( spiele0 o()0)"
Dr. Wossname kindly escorts the beggar outside." o()(( spiele2 spiele3 spieleE s
piele1 spieleM spiele9 spiele) o() spiele)"A museum employee arrives and throws
"rufnam()" out." o()(( spiele2 spiele3 spieleE spiele1 spieleM spiele9 spiele) o
() spiele)"The beggar is thrown out by a museum employee." o()p( spiele o())"The
programmers rush in and force "rufnam()" to leave." o()v( spiele o())"Douglas A
dams gives the beggar a few faked coins and sends him away." o()Y( spiele7 o()7)
"A waiter chases "rufnam()" off." o()T( spiele7 o()7) P"A waiter chases the
beggar off." o() ( spieleN o()N) "The gloomy atmosphere convinves "rufnam()" t
o leave the area." o()( spieleN o()N) "The beggar understands he'll get nothin
g here and sneaks away frightened." o()vn(( spiele0 spiele6 spiele spiele
spieleJ) (E)) "randoms.rnduo spiele fal fal fal d "The ground is sti
ll about" fal "metres away.6p hunge hunge thirs thirs L+q"" ve x(#) (#)F , (," "
) , ver( ve)£ £CU ( () (I)) ve ve ve a ve U ( () (H)) ve ve ve ve
a ( (/) (L)) ve p ve "turndisk", ve p 8 p $ (ver( ve))Ur
ufnam( a)"the things in your pocket" o( a) spiele ob , ($," ") , c a o(
c) spiele ob c rufnam( ob) £ c S , ($," ") , rufnam( ob) £ £C
( () (I)) c ob a c a c3 o( c) spiele ob c c ( () (H)) c o
b c c a3 o( c) spiele ob c cT ( (/) (L)) c a p ob p Drufnam
( a)"the other things" o( a) ob , ($," ") , c a o( c) ob c rufnam( ob)
£ c S , ($," ") , rufnam( ob) £ £C ( () (I)) c ob a c
a c+ o( c) ob c c ( () (H)) c ob c c a' o( c) ob c cT ( (/) (
L)) c a p ob p $ (ver( ve)) we , (," ") , coun durchgan( spiele, coun
) we counwa( we) £E , (," ") , wa( we)£ £C ( () (I)) coun we coun c
oun durchgan( spiele, coun) we coun coun ( () (H)) coun we coun
coun durchgan( spiele, coun) we coun counx ( (/) (L)) coun p n X spi
ele durchgan( spiele, we) p 8"C"" ( ) vei£ ve o( )"You are already carrying thi
s item, my little nitwit."n"take", ve"open", ve"close",7 ve 7 "use", "use2
", ve o( ) "You already have it." n o() "You have no money." n "buy",k
ve o( )"You are already carrying this item, my little nitwit."n"remove", ve
"turndisk",ZM ve hunge "You are not hungry." n "eat",G ve thirs"You are n
ot thirsty."n"drink",z ve o( )"Sorry to interrupt... You can only give away thin
gs you already have."n"give", ve "enter", ve"press", ve 3 "insult", "insul
t2", ve"kill", ve &"wear", o( )"You don't have it."n"wear",****** SPIELER TOT. £
"Press any key" "turndisk",n "busker.rnd "beggar.rnd. ( spiele) "cinema
.rnd "video.rnd R "notice.rnd m "game.rnd "death P "poster.rnd 2
"lookat", 1 "lookat2",p,,,,d"As your skull cracks open on the ground, you get
a very rare opportunity to takea look at your brain. Before you can be embarras
sed by how little of it there is, you die."e"After some minutes, Death arrives
.""SORRY I'M LATE, he says. I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU SO SOON. COME WITH ME NOW." wX(
spiele5 we) f()"A big black man stops you 'Yo man, you're not one of us, giddout
!'"nY( spiele+ we)( o(D) o(E))"The warden stops you 'Sorry, you must have your p
assport and your flight ticketto enter the plane.'"n#( spiele we)( spiele' we)"Y
ou run down the spiralling staircase. When you have arrived downstairs, you f
eel quite dizzy. The way up is going to be much harder, though."a( spiele/ we)"D
r. Wossname greets you and shows you the way into the study."( spiele we)"The cl
erk stands up and closes the hotel door behind you." durchgan(,) f()s( spiele we
)"Douglas Adams says 'Bye! We must meet again some time. How about summer 2032'"
( spiele5 we) f()"A big black man greets you 'Hi! My name is Ray Sism! Welcome t
o Condom Market!'"bW d"stairs""Insert Side 3 and press any key"£"stairs8L hunge
"You begin to feel a bit peckish..M hunge2 "You feel a bit hungry.'N hungeZ
"You are hungry.,O hungex "You are VERY hungry.nP hunge "You starve.""FROM
NOW ON YOU WON'T HAVE TO EAT ANY MORE, Death says. COME ON." )Q thirs( "You f
eel thirsty..R thirs "You feel very thirsty.3S thirsd"You'd die for a drop of
water.T thirs"You have died from lack of water.""CHEERS, says Death, finishing h
is WodkaMartini. COME ON NOW."Unives.""SORRY I'M LATE, he says. I DIDN'T EXPECT
YOU SO SOON. COME WITH ME NOW." wX( spiele5 we) f()"A big black man stops you 'Y
o man, you're not one of us, giddout!'"nY( spiele+ we)( o(D) o(E))"The warden st
ops you 'Sorry, you must have your passport and your flight ticketto enter the p
lane.'"nnZ( spieleD we)( o() o())"Somehow, you don't feel ready for this yet."n#
( spiele weLOOKAT BASp&&# "It's a glass of black ink as used in writing pens."
8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n Look at "It's a modern tourist guide the size
of a credit card. It is kept in a plastic cover which has the words DON'T PANIC
! written on it in large friendly letters." nr "Since they belong to an aerop
lane, they are quite big and certainly equally valuable." n "It is made o
f stone and can not deny certain similarities to an eagle's beak." f() n "It
is sitting in Lord Nelson's face." n f() "It is packed into a bag whic
h can be worn by people falling from great heights ...like you!" n "You alwa
ys wondered what Admiral Nelson was doing up here. To your great em- barrassm
ent, he seems to be taking a leak." f() "Apart from that, his nose seems to be
missing." n n f() "The cello is rather heavy and its sound is almost
loud enough to wake up sleeping bus drivers (a fact which has been prove
n in the last part)." nN "It is extremely slipperly. Better be careful with i
t." n "It is in fact a cup of really hot tea." n f() "A technical instr
ument that never ceases to arouse your admiration." n "A heap of junk. It is in
dire need of a repair." n f() "Something has been recorded on it and a c
opy protection has been set." n "It is an E-180 VHS video cassette of cheapest
quality." nC "A screw is a screw is a screw is a screw." n "This is a very
fine example of a screwdriver, long enough to drill someone's CENSORED"" out
." n "He is in fact a pantomime who can stand perfectly still without moving
at all. But you can't help suspecting he's not what he seems, especially becau
se Pa long thin metal thingy sticks out of the back of his neck." n "He is
very tall, wears black clothes and a helmet. Strangely enough, he is not Darth
Vader.""He seems to be very musical because he whistles and sings to himself all
the time." n "He looks exactly as you remember him from Praha, when he st
ole your passport Tall, strong, agile, with a cunning and menacing expression
on his scarred face." n "He stands there, looking at the lights and laughing
his head off. He carries a video camera" f() " and a bottle of Smirnoff (TM).
" n "." n "She's sitting in a chair and reads the LOOT magazine, displaying
an empty look. Sometimes she laughs loud about the small ads.""Her hair is in a
mess." n "She's very old, very small and very bent." f() "She looks relieved
and squints at you gratefully." n "She looks very tense, her face has turned a
ll red" f() " and she holds a note in her""hand." n "." n
8 "You still have £" pound"left." nW£ "The writing on it says 'Please inse
rt your credit card here'." n f() "This is one of the moments when yo
u are glad that bacterias can not be seen without a microscope." n "Someone
dumped a 10p coin into the toilet." o(Z) f() nT "The shower has two faucets
labelled 'cold' and 'icy-cold'." n "It is a two-storey bed which squeaks if y
ou merely look at it." o(C) "There is a Subway ticket lying on it." o(C) n
"For one pound this machine will release some coffee."o( )"a coffee machine"ruf
nam( )"the coffee machine" nL ! "He walks around sweating and looking very ner
vous." nm " "The plastic bag has the face of Colin Curly (TM) (a cartoon dog)
printed onto it." n # $ "The Subway train looks VERY suspicious (suspici
ous in the sense of old, rusty, rotten, technically defect and overprized)." n
% "Although the elevator is very big and spacious, there is hardly any room le
ft for you to enter due to the about 2.1 million people who are already inside
." n & "This black stratocaster is a brilliant work of art, signed 'J.Hendrix'
. By now you notice that the guitar's colour is not black at all.""It is just s
lightly burned." n ' "It is a painting by the infamous French impressionist E
douard Manet.""Apparently several people have spat onto it." n ( "They sing an
d dance around like maniacs, but they seem to be frienldy." n ) "It seems to b
e frightened by your presence. Better leave it alone." n * "The greatest contr
ibution of Italy to international understanding and world peace. And it smel
ls good, too." n + "He shouts and shouts and shouts and shouts and shouts and
shouts and shouts and shouts and sells pizzas and shouts and shouts. From time t
o time he shouts, justfor a change." n , "It is an occult book of magic and fo
rbidden knowledge, written by the Arab AbdulAlhazred. With horror you remember y
our first confrontation with this ghastly tome back in Praha." n - "A small
bottle of vodka which has the word 'Smirnoff' printed on it in large friendly
letters." n . "A bottle of strange liqour of Scandinavian origin. Everybody l
ikes it, but nobody knows why." n / "Nobody knows exactly what it is. Mag
ic Potion Rat Poison""Suddenly you discover that there seems to be a shimmering
light covering it.""Then you look again and notice it's just mould fungus." nr
0 "It comes in a plastic bottle which is much more valuable than the brown liqu
id inside." n 1 "They're cheap wine gums in the shape of frogs (uargh!)." f
( ) "Small particles of wood are sticking on them." n "Someone stuck them onto
the door." np ,,,,F spiele "The numbers '042' are engraved into it." n£ spie
le f() "If you open it, you can enter the London House Hotel to the south."
n "It is open." n spiele "The letters 'NCB Airlines' mark this steel Pdoor.
""When opened, it allows entry into the plane. However, it is closed at this ver
y moment." ne spiele8 "This door has no function whatsoever it is just here to
confuse you." n spiele "'EntER aT yOur oWn RiZK !!!'" n spiele "The sign i
s fixed above the hotel entrance and reads"" 'Give me your tired, your pos
h,"" your hungry tourists yearning to sleep here,"" The wretched refuse in your
steaming shoes."£ spiele " Send these, the hopeless, travel-tost to me,"" I
lift my lamp beside this rotten door,"" American Express accepted.'" n
spiele "It has the words 'YE OLDE CRAPPE SHOPPE' crossed out and 'USED THINGS
LTD.' written over it." nc spiele("It has 'DEAD POETS' SOCIETY' scribbled on
it in crinkly gothic letters."n spiele7 "'Welcome to the TIROLERHUETTENJAEGER
STADL WURST & KRAUT HAUS!"" We leave no stone unturned and no cliche unused to m
ake you feel as gemutlich as possible!"" EAT ALL YOU CAN pay !'" n spiele "S
he's a chubby lady with a small moustache.""Something at you seems to be extraor
dinarily funny, because she keeps grinning at you." nu spiele "He's the shopk
eeper of this supermarket, a small man with a greedy look on his face." n spie
le" "He's an employee of Thomas Crook's Change Institutes who looks at you in a
businesslike manner." n spiele "He's a young skinny nerd with thick glas
ses and a spotty face with an expressionof slight confusion on it." n spiele "
It is being used for opening the door in cases of emergency." nh spieleE "It i
s being used for stopping the flight simulator and opening its door." n spiele*
"If you press it, the flight simulator program will start.""Someone has writte
n DON'T under it in red crinkly letters." n8 spiele" ( o( ) f()) "He has n
othing more to sell." n9 spiele" "He sells video cassettes of movies and films
that can't exactly be described by the word 'original'. He offers you one of th
e cassettes, saying ''Have you seen part two of 'The Hitchhiker's Guide To Praha
- The Movie' yet'')B spiele" o( )" nL spiele& ( o(7) f()) "He has noth
ing more to sell." nM spiele& "He is a Chinese who sells some of the famous 10
00-year-old eggs. Judging by the smell of them, he might tell the truth." o(7)&
nV spiele8 "He greets you in a funny, old-fashioned way and introduces himself
as""'Fast Food Stan'. Then he invites you to give him some money in exchange fo
r hisfood." n spiele "He's a young man whose work seems to consist mainly of s
itting around in cornersand looking bored." nVj spiele$ o(4) "He has ran ou
t of Soma at the moment." nk spiele$ "He's a dealer who tries to sell you some
Soma.""(Consult your guide for further information)" o(4)$ n "It's a very ex
pensive pen which " f() "is filled and ready for writing." n "seems to be emp
ty." nK "It's a glass of black ink as used in writing pens." n." n." n nX"He
is Death" n nVj spiele$ o(4) "He has ran out of Soma at the moment." nk sp
iele$ "He's a dealLOOKAT2 BASpTTI"looksub" "Insert Side 3 and press any key" £
8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n Look at (over 50's only) 2 "Sandwich designer
s usually try to make the sandwich look as hungrifying as possible. In this
case, they didn't." nd 3 "No comment. Whatever you usually do with breakfasts
, don't.""Just don't." n4 4 "TM & (C) by Aldous Huxley." nk 5 "Maybe they wo
uld like to meet your toe Ha, ha, HA!""Sorry. I couldn't help it." nC 6 "They
are more fun to eat than to look at." nf 7 "Let's put it that way If they were
people, someone would have to bury them." nL 8 "Better eat it. The salesman h
as other fish to fry." n 9 "The letters FAST FOOD STAN are hanging loosely abo
ve it. Apparently, the D is missing. An old salesman stands inside and smiles
at you like gurus do when Ptheyhad too much of whatever gurus can have too muc
h of." n "Surprised, you notice that the feet are nothing but white bones.""W
HAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT , a hollow voice from next door says." ng "It consist
s of two small crumbs of bread with something organic between them." n "The M
inister of Silly Noises and chairman of the A.S.S.A Institute.""Considering his
title, he looks rather normal." nq "It seems to work. No, maybe work is not t
he right expression here.""It seems to play." n "It is a small metallic thing
y some women use to fasten their hairdo." n "From here, it looks like one of
these public things you can put recycleable bottles in." f() n "It shake
s and rotates violently at an incredible speed." n d A "What was described
in the news as 'bright illumination of Marble Arse' turns outto be some pitiful
miserable little lamps which remind you awkwardly of the proverbial candles
in the wind." n B "It has the words 'London House Hotel Room 042' engraved in
to it." no C "It is a so-called Travel Card which allows you to ride the Subwa
y wherever you want." n D "Although you still find you look pretty stupid on
the photograph, you're happy to have the passport back." nQ E "It provides a
flight from Heapthrow airport to Germany." nu F "Half-transparent, the spirit
of the famous English poet hovers some inches abovethe ground." n G "It's real
ly Him! The grand master, the god of English humourous literature! His head
seems to be illuminated by a halo, but then you realize he's standing in front
of a desk lamp." n H "It is very old and covered with hieroglyphs. If your tra
nslation is correct, theinscription says 'Ramses XLII - Do not open till Christm
as.'" nD I "They point their fingers at you and laugh." n J "It shows some B
abylonian Gods who hold some sceptres over their heads. With a bit of imaginat
ion (or a sick sense of humour) the figures seem to strike them- selves over the
heads." ny K "He keeps hitting himself on the head with a plastic bottle and
pretends to be a Babylonian God." nO L "It resembles the Greek messenger of th
e gods, Herpes." n M "A horrible revue show is on. Some wussie in a leisure su
it sings in a voice you could easily slip on if it lay on the floor." n N "She
stares at the television, mumbling 'This is is too bad to be true.'""From time
to time she giggles and drools. You feel pity for her. Another inno- cent victi
m of BBC entertainment." nG O "It is open. If you enter it, you must pay 2£."
n P "Inside you discover a telephone that seems to be o.k., but obviously the
phone directory has been stolen." nM Q "It is an ordinary telephone. A call c
osts 10 pence." nH S "Something seems to be inside this red balloon." n T "T
wo bronze figures inside it are revealing their naughty bits whilst being s
prinkled with water. It oughtn't to be allowed!" f() n "A balloon is swimmin
g in the water." f() o(S) n U spiele "It looks very old. Outside you can se
e a street." n "As you pull back the curtains, you are quite surprised to see s
ome underwear lying outside." n0 V "It says 'D.N.A. 42042'" n W "He wears
a strange hat, smokes a pipe, plays a violin and walks nervously aroundin his r
oom (all simultaneously)." n X "It has a sign nailed to it." f( ) n "Some
strange things are sticking on it." o(1) ng Y "It is of the cheap, scratchy ty
pe that really... we'll spare you the details." ny Z "It is a coin worth exact
ly ten pence (ask a stupid question and you'll get a stupid answer)." n "H
e's the 'short, fat and gruesome' type of person who seems to spend all day m
aking photos and disparaging remarks about everything." n "It consists of Bra
twurst and Sauerkraut. Since you mostly live from pizza and kebap, it looks pr
etty exotic to you, too." nc "It has a very complicated lock which can only b
e opened with great skill." nb P "The selection computer will certainly help
you to find the desired book." nc "It is some kind of black cream which is u
sually destined to colour shoes." n a "The famous Indian leader who coined the
immortal phrases""'WHERE'S MY BLOODY LIBERTY', 'MY FEET HURT!' and 'HELLO!'." n
b "A big figure covered in some kind of cloak and hood with only two glinting
eyes shining out. As you look under the hood you see that he's just a normal,
although slightly geniously-looking, guy." n c "He holds a large frighte
ning axe in his hands. If Nothing could look brilliant you would find this expr
ession in his face. Apparently he is not blind at all and has no wristband wit
h three points!" n d "Among the usual heroes you discover Yo-Cool-Man, Bicycle
-Repair-Man, Outta-Da- Way-Man, Any-Spare-Change-Man, Indian A. Jones, Rick Dev
ious and Pac Man. To your great relief, Super Mario is not here." n e "T
his is a safe where guests can put their valuables in." f() "It is closed." n
"It is open." o(E) "It contains a flight ticket." o(E) n nN f "A man who
once made a very wise remark about sports." n g "The monsters include Great Ct
hulhu, the Aztec God Coaxialcabl, Frank N. Stein, the Golem, the Ravenous Bugbl
atter Beast Of Traal and Lord G. van Gravenwrath." n h "The statue looks very
realistic, menacing and threatening.""The razor knife Jack the Ripper usually ho
lds in his hand seems to be missing." n i "It is a Thomas Crook (TM) Change In
stitute.""Here you can change foreign currencies into British pounds.""A clerk s
its inside silently." n j "You see a small sign on his jacket saying 'J.T. Rip
per'.""It's unbelievable! Apparently, Jack the Ripper is still alive!""After all
, he doesn't look that frightening." nf k "Looking at it reassures you a littl
e. At least you know where your towel is!" nd l "If you use it, you can take a
look at the masses of books in this library." n n "speaker o "Among other t
hings, you discover some used socks, a used parachute, a used pair of wiper blad
es and a second hand." np ,,,,cd X d "looksub" "Insert Side 3 and press any
key" £ "looksubX d £ "looksubX df wipe2 BASp $$$ Endeneues Direct
ory abspeichern,File( $$$ Endeneues Directory abspeichern,File(s) l#schen%
ein/mehrere File(s) bearbeitenNOTICE RNDpSnV "'Strong handsome male wanted
by well-p "You take a random look at one of the notices. It reads" F (E)5 "'F
or a good time call 55532'" n( "'If you need hints or help call 48498'" n82
"'For waste of money call 12345'" nV "'Strong handsome male wanted by well-
paying lady. Call 36367'" n P n"london.pr1",n a! Ha! Ha!""Thank you.'" F nur "
'Hello. This is the Holistic Hitchhiker's Hint 'n Help Line.
Our hint for today In this game the 10 p coin can only be used for one single
phone call. So choose wisely. Glad to help you.'" F( nu90 "'Hello! You have ju
st wasted 10 pence which you would have needed for a very important phone ca
ll. You might as well quit the game now.'" F2 nu "You hear an old woman's voic
e""'Hello Are POPEN BASp$$ignore this notice!'"8"Disappointed, you slam the
li8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n"(Apparently, the parachute's belts were not as
solid as they should have been.)" ()"A" ()"a" ()"a" ()"!" "Fortunatel
y, you were already quite low when you opened the parachute, so you fall only
about 3 metres until you hit something very hard.""Everything becomes black."
"As you open your eyes, you see..."W o() f()o()"a pen"rufnam()"the pen" spiele8
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT IT ON he wonders." "It is dark. You press against th
e lid and discover that you can't open it.""Suddenly you get a creepy feeling th
at you are not alone in this dark place." "Then you hear a deep hollow voice
just behind you""HELLO AGAIN." "Whew! You almost chopped your head off! Imagine
what damage this window could doif someone would hold something under it!" n"lon
don.pr1",Open f() "The parachute neatly unfolds, its white silken sheets f
luttering in the wind.""Five seconds later, as you are lying squashed on the gro
und, Death looks at you and shakes his head." "To your (and our) big surpris
e, it doesn't turn out to be a rucksack.""The parachute opens properly, carrying
you safely downwards." "*Snap!*" o()H "No, that would seriously damage t
he instrument." nw "The banana has already been opened by someone, otherwise
it wouldn't be merely a banana skin." nH "There are other ways to get money
out of it..." n p " "The plastic bag is already open." nB % "The lift is
open. Enter it or let it be." na "The toilet is already open and ready to us
e for your personal pleasure." nE $ "The Subway's doors are open. Just enter i
t." nL * "Since this pizza is no Calzone, you can't open it." n - "You open
the bottle. Death appears, looks at you and says""SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY D
RANK IT.""Quickly, you close the bottle again.""PARTY POOPER, Death mumbles to h
imself and vanishes." n . "You open the bottle. Some flies buzzing around near
you suddenly drop dead. Hurriedly you close it again." n / "Since the 'be
st before'-date is two months past, you should only open it shortlybefore eating
it." n£ 0 "You open the bottle and expect the characteristic hissing noise, b
ut apparently this coke is so cheap it doesn't even do you this favour." n 2 "
You lift the upper slice of bread and look into the sandwich. Something moves in
there and you quickly close the sandwich again." n 7 "The eggs ooze out and pr
oduce an unbearable smell.""Death appears and takes the eggs. Regarding your puz
zled look, he says""I MAKE NO DIFFERENCE. DEAD IS DEAD. Then he disappears." o(7
) n 9 "The stand is already open and the salesman looks at you expectantly." n
J "You have neither a toolbox nor a very large axe." n f() "It is alrea
dy open. Apparently your eyes are not." n "It's shaking too violently." n F "
Since you don't know how to do this, your attempts look rather odd.""The ghost l
ooks at you puzzled and asks 'What dost thou trye to do'" n H "Slowly, the sar
cophagus opens." "A mummy stalks out." "It grabs you, throws you into the
sarcophagus, slams the lid shut and runs away." S ( O P) "Maybe you should tr
y to enter it, sweetheart" n S "You try to tear the balloon, but it's too wet
to get a grip on it." n U spiele "After a great lot of rattling and pushing
, you manage to open the window by pushing it up. Just as you want to stick
your head out, the window comes down again very fast." I X "It is open, just
enter the room ...if you dare." n£ X "The salesman shouts something in A
rab which you don't understand, but I think he tells you not to open the video
cassettes." n "Try using the catalogue computer." n' P "Try using it." n
( e) "An employee of Mme Tussaud's stops you from doing some funny, but sen
seless vandalism." n h "Something hits your leg very hard. You look down a
nd see some old man in a wheelchair hitting you with his stick." o(j) nZ i
"The clerk stops you and says 'Just give me something to change'." n& "He'
s closed." nI "A truncheon colliding with your head stops you." n "You are
hit with a strange instrument." nT "No, I strongly believe the beggar would
be slightly upset." n "You can't. But he opens you with his razor.""THAT'LL T
EACH YOU, Death saysas he drags you away in a plastic bag." 7 "No, he's in su
ch a good mood." n "She protests loudly and a hotel employee arrives and tell
s you both to shut up or he'll call the police. You stop." n "He fingers his
scythe and mumbles I'D LOVE TO, BUT YOUR TIME HAS NOT YET COME.""You stop fondl
ing around him." n "You manage to tear open her vest, look inside and close i
t hurriedly again in disgust and shock.""(She wore a corset underneath, not wh
at you thought.)" n7 "You have no very large knife." n "You have no permis
sion to do so." n ! "He calls you a little pervert, but he doesn't seem to be
disgusted.""Confused, you let go of him." n3 ( "There's too many of them." n
) "There would be nothing inside you'd want.""Nothing outside, as well." nU +
"He slaps you with an extremely hot piece of pizza.""Ouch." n 6 "Fisherman's
Fiend is no real person." nf "He shouts insults in completely indescribable t
ongues and you let go of him." nI G "You can't do that to the very decent Mr.
Adams." n "Cold water comes out and wets you completely. You close the faucet
again." f() "The shoe cream in your face came off." f() n nn f() "It
already is open." n "Opening it will be quite a hairy task." n & , f(
) "As you open it, some tentacles shoot out of it and you quickly close it agai
n." n "It seems to be stuck. Maybe you should have it repaired." n I "The pro
grammers are a bit upset about your feeble attempt to be funny, but then they de
cide life is already hard enough for you as it is and let you live." nC K "He
won't let you and calls you a heretic." n6 N "I'm not going to touch this!" n1
W "Dr. Wossname stops you." n "As you reach out towards him, he takes a ph
oto of you to have a memory of the strange British customs. The flashlight tem
porarily blinds you and you stop." n e L ( f g) "An employee of Mme Tussa
uds stops you." nF j "He pokes you in the stomach with his crutch." n l a
n "Please! No violence in open public except when the programmers want it!" n
(E)J "How do you want to open that, you strange person" nW "That's an inte
resting idea. Bad thing it's totally impossible." n5 "Nobody would profit fro
m it." n& "No and never." n0 "Not for love nor money." np spiele f( )
"It is already open." nq spiele ( f() f( )) "After some pushing, the door
opens reluctantly." durchgan(,) f( ) nJr spiele "You try, but apparently the
door is locked." nWs spiele "It can only be opened by pressing the button next
to it." nt spiele f() "You open the hotel door." durchgan(,) nu spiele "
The hotel door is already open." nkX"Press f2, f3, f7, f8, f9, 1, 3, 5, W, D and
J simultaneously to open the lock""(Press Q to quit)"YC "" YZ (( ()) ( ()) (
( )) ( ()) ( ()) ( ()) ( (9)) ( (1)) ( ()) ( ()) ( (-))) N (C) "All
right, but you don't know what you're missing..." n Y £ () P"The chest's lid
opens with a creaking noise..." b"Inside you discover a small piece of paper whi
ch reads""'Please ignore this notice!'"8"Disappointed, you slam the lid shut aga
in." n+b ,"PRESS ANY KEY" £ (( ()) ( ()) ( ( )) ( ()) ( ()) ( ()) ( (9))
( (1)) ( ()) ( ()) ( (-))) N (C) "Allright, but you don't know what you
're missing..." n Y £ () here." n e "This is a safe where guests can put the
ir valuables in." f() "It is closed." n "It is open." o(E) "It contains a f
light ticket." o(E) n nN f "A man who once made a very wise remark about spo
rts." n g "The monsters include Great Cthulhu, the Aztec God Coaxialcabl, Fran
k N. Stein, the Golem, the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast Of Traal and Lord G. van G
ravenwrath." n h "The statuPHONE BASpS"london.pr1",ndon.pr1",nr 10p coin fal
ls back o £"Please enter the number you want to dial", nu nuOC "Only five digi
ts, please!" nu Q"You insert the 10p coin into a slot and dial" nu()"."
o(Z) nuX "'Hello! You've reached the National Joke Line! Today's joke""What do
you call a member of the Conservative Party who has fallen into a volcano
""A Lava-Tory! Ha! Ha! Ha!""Thank you.'" F nur "'Hello. This is the Holistic H
itchhiker's Hint 'n Help Line. Our hint for today In this ga
me the 10 p coin can only be used for one single phone call. So choose wisely.
Glad to help you.'" F( nu90 "'Hello! You have just wasted 10 pence which you w
ould have needed for a very important phone call. You might as well quit the
game now.'" F2 nu "You hear an old woman's voice""'Hello Are you calling beca
use of that note I'm afraid the vacancy for the cleaner I was looking for ha
s already been filled. Thank you for calling.'" F nu$ "'Hello, Douglas Adams h
ere. I'm not home at the moment, but if you want to visit me, I live in Islingto
n. And if you want to leave a message, speak after the silly noise.'" ,,d
2A nu$ durchgan(,) FB nu P(F"You hang up.""london.pr1",nP"There seems to b
e nobody answering the phone. Your 10p coin falls back out of a slot and you pic
k it up." o(Z)"london.pr1",ndon.pr1",nr 10p coin falls back out of a slot and yo
u pick it up." o(Z)"london.pr1",nt if you want to visit me, I live in Islington.
And if you want to leave a message, speak after the silly noise.'" ,,d2A
nu$ durchgan(,) FB nu P(F"You hang up.""london.pr1",nPOSTER RNDp2astle D
onington!'/ "'John Cleese For Presid "'If you can read this, you need new
glasses' "An advert for 'Kentucky Frightened Chicken'.U "'Help preventing
political suicides - no plastic bags for Tory MPs' ( "'Don't Panic!'a2 "'
Mi dogk haz dyd hee drenk tou matsh ov Oranjeboom. (Not everyone will get it)'E
"'The Hitchhiker's Guide To London - Now available!'-F "'Thank you for not
busking'+P "'Buskers will get busted',Z "'Vote for the Silly Party'd
"An advert for 'Kentucky Fried Children'.n "'We are using only 10% of our mem
ory!"" Increase your computer's RAM with our spiritual help!"" Saint Olodgie Chu
rch'/x "'Big Brother is nudging you'+ "'Vote for the Tea Party'G "'Vis
it the London Dungeon (near Water Loo Station)!' "'Get your new city guide at
the A.S.S.A. Institute near Bacteria Station!'y "'Fare dodgers will be shot!
- U.R. Gillty, London Subway Society Public Relations Management'$
"'Please register'1 "'Visit the Hide Park Library!'5 "'Do you know where y
our towel is' "'We apologise to all the people who have been mistaken for far
e dodgers over the past five weeks - I.M. Devious, London Subway Society Gen P
eral Management' "'Tonight only How To Hitchhike Without Making A Fool Of You
rself"" A reading by the expert F. Prefect - 8.00 p.m., London Loonyversity' -
"'Please do not read this.'8 "'Legastheniacs of the world - untie!'X "''
Have you played Part I and II of The Hitchhiker's Guide To Praha''P "'Amidst
life we are surrounded by Death. - St. Range Church'V "'Live in concert Prah
a Proczecht - tonight at Castle Donington!'/ "'John Cleese For President!'"
london.pr1",n"london.pr1",n,, F. Prefect - 8.00 p.m., London Loonyversity' -
"'Please do not read this.'8 "'Legastheniacs of the world - untie!'X "''Ha
ve you played Part I and II of The Hitchhiker's Guide To Praha''P "'Amidst li
fe we are surrounded by Death. - St. Range Church'V "'Live in concert Praha
Proczecht - tonight at CGeneral Management' "'Tonight only How To Hitchhike
Without Making A Fool Of Yourself"" A reading by the expert F. Prefect - 8.00 p
.m., London Loonyversity' - "'Please do not read this.'8 "'Legastheniacs o
f the world - untie!'X "''Have you played Part I and II of The Hitchhiker's G
uide To Praha''P "'Amidst life we are surrounded by Death. - St. Range Churc
h'W "'Live in concert Praha Proczecht - tonight aPRESS BASpbb"spiele* "W
ELL, says Death, scraping you off the walls8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n"london
.pr1",Press' "Try to use it." n, "He does not react." n spiele) "Yo
u are unable to reach him through the iron bars." n "The policeman looks puzzle
d and asks 'What's all this, then'" nD "Don't. The results would be unpredict
able." nP "Freedom of the press, all right, but not in this case." nA "You
are not brave (or suicidal) enough." nL "You nudge him slightly, but he cont
inues to laugh." n4 "She slaps you in the face." n "I WOULDN'T TRY IT, Dea
th warns you." n9 "She steps heavily on your foot." nC "The clerk will wor
k without that as well." n pF "Try buying something instead of pushing hi
m." nA "You won't get money out of it that way." nt "It flushes loudly, sp
rinkling you with water (or at least something very close to water)." n$ "It
creaks." nu ! "He starts to hug you and fondles your behind. With great effor
t, you struggle free again." n ' "Your finger gets covered with spit and dis
gusted you wipe it off." n- ( "They move too fast." n% ) "It squeaks." n) *
"Ouch! It's hot!" n0 + "He looks at you 'Si'" n/ 7 "No, they might break!"
nL "There is no point in pressing other people's feet." n9 "He produces a
few funny noises." nR "It beeps and displays something about a guru meditati
ng." nT£ A "They go out for some seconds and then continue to flicker." nO F
"You fail completely, to Sheiksbeer's great amusement." nN G "After you have
touched him, you suddenly feel lucky." nd I "Those two guys could do all kinds
of nasty things to you, so better don't." nC K "He hits you with an empty pla
stic bottle." n M "You switch it off. The lady stands up (which is quite a sig
ht to see), nudges you (which is quite a pain to feel) and switches the TV bac
k on again (which is something nobody but her wants to see)." n N "Your hand v
anishes between several layers of fat and you quickly pull it out again. The
lady doesn't even seem to have noticed it!" n S "You press and rub the balloon
, producing several flatulent noises." ng U spiele "Maybe opening it will d
o the trick." n "It is stuck." n W "He stops you, saying 'Please don't, I'm u
nder pressure enough myself.'" nW "He shouts 'Ach, zat is nott wery funny P!
' and pushes you back." nA "A waiter shouts 'Do not tuch der Food!'" n2 "I
t does not open at all." n j "The old man scolds and swears at you." nJ k "Y
ou cuddle it a bit and feel better immediately." ny n "The speaker looks at yo
u angry and says 'Please do not interrupt me. I have not finished yet!'." n "
remove", B "This isn't just any key on the keyboard, you simpleton! It is a ke
y used for opening doors!""I think it was a mistake to let people like you pl
ay this game..." nB ((E)) "Nothing earth-shattering happens." n ((E)) "What ha
ppens now would be best described by the term 'Nothing'." nT ((E)) "Once again,
your efforts have no effect whatsoever." n p spiele "After a while, the door
opens and a stewardess looks out. As she sees you, she looks a bit surprised a
nd disappears.""A few seconds later, she comes back and hands you a parachute. T
hen she slams the door shut again.q spiele "(Bad thing you already had your
fingers in the door-frame.)""Screaming, you release your grip and start plummeti
ng downwards immediately."r spiele "As you look up to the plane again, you see
the figure pull back its hood, revealing a grinning skull.""SEE YOU ON TH
E GROUND, Death says in a deep, hollow voice that can be heard al-"s spiele "t
hough the wind is rushing in your ears." spiele o()o()"Death"rufnam()"Death" 8t
spieleE "*CLICK*" f() "Nothing happens." n "The simulator stops abruptly an
d its doors open.""A woman falls out.""Her hair is in a mess and she has an empt
y, glassy stare."Vu spieleE "'Never again', she mumbles and crawls off." f() n
v spiele* "The doors close. Then the screen starts to flicker and a view from
inside a cockpit is being shown. Apparently, this is a simulation of an airf
ight.""But it isn't. It's a simulation of an airplane crashing."w spiele* "As
the simulated airplane hits the ground, the simulator starts its violent sha
king again. The shaking gets stronger and faster until centrifugal force nea
tly spreads your body all over the inside of the simulator.ix spiele* "WELL, s
ays Death, scraping you off the walls, IT'S ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK." exchange f
or hisfood." n spiele "He's a young man whose work seems to consist mainly of
sitting around in cornersand looking bored." n spiele$ "He's a dealer who trie
s to sell you some Soma.""(Consult your guide for further information)" o(4)$ nX
"He is Death" nfurther information)" nX"He is Death" n you in a funny, old-fashi
oned way and introduces himself as""'Fast Food Stan'. Then he invites you to giv
e him some money in QUIT BASp $$$"R" F ("i , , "You have failed
miserably in your quest.""(Q)uit or (R)estart "D(C) "Q" BASI "R" I ("I
nsert Side 1 and press any key" £ "london2( $$$"R" F ("Insert Side 1
and press any key" £ "london( be illuminated by a halo, but then you realize he
's standing in front of a desk lamp." n H "It is very old and covered with hi
eroglyphs. If your translation is correct, theinscription says 'Ramses XLII Do
not open till Christmas.'" nD I "They point their fingers at you and laugh." n
J "It shows some Babylonian Gods who hold some sceptres over their heads. Wit
h a bit of imagination (or a sick sense of humour) the figures seem to strike
them- selves RANDOMS RNDp"Then the alien looks at you, consults his notes, says
'See spiele0 d (E) "Suddenly Sherlock Homeless slaps himself on the fore
head""'By Jove, I must have been blind! Why didn't I think of this earlier'""He
runs to a board and scribbles some mathematic equations on it." ( "Sherlock H
omeless pulls out a magnifying glass and examines your shoes very carefully.
'Ah-ha P!', he shouts triumphantly. 'That gives this whole case a new meaning
!'" 2 "Sherlock Homeless shouts 'I've got it, Wossname! Duke McFlabberston ha
s to be the murderer! He was the only one who knew about the cockroaches!'
'Brilliant, Homeless!', Wossname admires him." "Without saying a w
ord, Sherlock Homeless rips a book out of his bookshelf and flips through it.
'Nope', he says after a while, 'apparently not.'" F f() "Sherlock Homeless
mumbles 'Now I only wish I knew who is the person behind this Tory MP murder...
'" P "Sherlock Homeless suddenly looks up and says 'Wossname, any news about
that vandal who demolished Trarlfglarg Square and escaped from prison'
'Nothing yet', Dr. Wossname replies." Q "Suddenly, Sherlock Homeless
sits down on the floor, crosses his legs and goes 'Ommmmmm' for a couple of mi
nutes." Z d spiele6 xn"A girl who looks very familiar to you walks past. She
wears a hat that looks as if a truck's tyre had fallen on her head.x spieleJ
y (E) "From a corner of your eye you see something box-like disappearing in
the crowd. It looked like some sort of luggage with hundreds of tiny feet!"
"A suitcase that has been standing around here unattended for quite some time is
being picked up by a small elderly man. He leaves the area, and a few seconds
later you hear a loud 'BOOM!'. A hooded figure hurries after the man. "
An Arab arrives, complaining about the high prices for the flights. He opens his
suitcase, takes out a carpet, sits down on it and flies off." "Suddenly you
hear someone shout 'There he is! The smuggler! Open fire!' Some security
guards shoot down a man in a trenchcoat wearing dark glasses. "The security
guards' leader examines the dead body, stands up and turns to his colleagues, w
hispering 'Damn, it's been the wrong one again!'""Hurriedly, they carry the body
away." spiele (E) "A busker comes in, takes the guitar and starts playi
ng some chords.""The salesman pulls out a knife, throws it and misses the busker
by inches.""He drops the guitar and runs out." "A busker comes in, takes th
e guitar and starts playing some chords.""The salesman jumps up and kicks him fo
r some time.""After the busker has left, he puts the guitar back where it belong
s." "A busker comes in, takes the guitar and starts playing some loud rock h
ymns by Led Zeppelin. The salesman presses a button on the wall and a sixteen-t
on-weightdrops onto the busker. The guitar remains unharmed." "A busker come
s in, takes the guitar and starts playing 'Wild Thing'.""The salesman presses a
button on a remote control and suddenly the guitar startsto glow with electricit
y. There is a flash, a loud bang and the busker is gone." spiele (E)C
"Douglas Adams fondles his towel nervously." "A voice from within a cupb
oard says 'I think you ought to know that I am very depressed.'""'What was that
', you ask.""'Oh', says Douglas Adams, leaning against the cupboard, 'nothing at
all!'" "Douglas Adams walks off into the kitchen, comes back with a glass o
f Pan Galac- tic Gargle Blaster, empties it, spits fire for several seconds and
then burps discretely." "Douglas Adams fishes a pocket calculator out of h
is pocket and types in a few very complicated calculations. Then he looks at i
t wildly, mumbles 'Forty-two! Again!' and starts to giggle madly." "Suddenl
y a window opens from outside and a dull-looking man wearing a shabby oldgown lo
oks in, saying 'Is there any tea'.""Douglas Adams chases him off." "Suddenly
a tall, slim, grey alien materializes in the room. He looks at some notes an
d asks""'Douglas Adams'""Douglas Adams nods.""'Douglas Noel Adams' - 'Yes '"
"'Your'e not funny at all and are clearly one of the worst writers ever lived.
In fact you are even worse than Paula Nancy Millstone-Jennings and Neil
Potter!'t, "Then the alien looks at you, consults his notes, says 'See you
later' and disappears." "london.pr1",o an PREMOVE BASpqqY the wall."n1 n
"The speaker objects loudly.8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n"over, burying dozens
of innocent pigeons and a few (maybe not that innocent) tourists under it. Wh
ile you are still staring down in disbelief and shock, you can hear sirens. Poli
ce cars, fire-engines and ambulances arrive and a ladder is""being moved up to t
he pillar. After a while, the head of a police constable popsup over the rim of
the pillar, gives you a censorious look and asks the inevi- table question 'Wel
l, well, well. What's all this, then'"Before you can answer, several other polic
emen come up the ladder and take you down into a police car. You try to explain
, but one of the Bobbies hits you withhis truncheon. Again, everything becomes b
lack..."A few hours later, you wake up." spiele) 8"Death, regarding a few impres
sionist paintings, walks up to you and takes your hand.""I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND
THESE HUMANS, he mumbles quietly to himself as he walks away with you." "After
you've been lying dead on the ground several minutes, the lid of the sarco
phagus opens and Death comes out.""SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I WAS JUST CHECKING IF I
DID A PROPER JOB ON THIS FELLOW IN THERE. LET'S GO." "ARE YOU COMING I CAN'T
WAIT ALL DAY, YOU KNOW." "london.pr1", Remove "You manage to rip the wiper blade
s off the plane's windscreen. The pilot inside shouts something. Luckily, you ca
n't hear him through the thick glass." o()nv "With a little crack the nose comes
off and you put it into your pocket." o() f()n "With great effort you manage to
push the statue over the edge of the pillar. Below, it hits one of the four
big iron lion statues. The lion sways and falls" "Terribly sorry, but the button
is fixed."nr "The poster is glued to the wall and you couldn't remove it withou
t seriously damaging it."n "That's not the way to get money out of it."nB "Tr
y some other way of getting into the room."n "...and get wet from all the nasty
things swimming in there""No thanks!"nC "Sorry, this is solid work and won't com
e off."nt "You move the bed a little. Behind it you discover...""*Press any key*
"£"...nothing."n4 #"The sign is fastened securely."n5 $"Hey, let's not overdo it
, o.k."n/ %"Who do you think you are"nu &"The salesman comes to you, steps on yo
ur foot violently and puts the guitar backinto the shelf."n '"A museum attendant
leaps out of a dustbin and places a well aimed arrow from hisblow-pipe right in
to your neck. Luckily, the poison works quickly and painless." 1"With incredible
effort, you manage to rip the Froeshlies off the door.""Small particles of the
door are still sticking on them." f( ) o(1)n 9"The salesman looks as if he'd sta
rt crying any minute now, so you don't."n "The flight simulator is"" a) too heav
y"" b) fastened to the floor."n/ "It's screwed to the wall."n A"They are cemente
d into the pavement."n£ H"A museum attendant jumps down from a shelf where he wa
s hiding in an Egyptian vase. You didn't know large axes were allowed in open
public." J"Whith a crunch it comes off the wall. As usual, you are too slow to r
eact.""From under the plate you see two bone-white feet standing in front of you
and a hollow voice says" L"Sirens start blaring and a sixteen-ton-weight falls
from the ceiling, squashing both you and the Greek statue.""SO MUCH FOR SECURITY
SYSTEMS, says Death. COME ON NOW."1 M"The fat lady won't let you."n4 O"This doe
sn't lead to anything."n. P"Strange, very strange..."n2£ Q"No vandalizing today,
sorry."n- R"It's glued to the wall."n S"take", T"Your pocket is way too small f
or it."n/ U"It's fixed into the wall."n X"Try entering the room in another way."
n% "It's too heavy."n/ e"It's fixed into the wall."n1 n"The speaker objects lou
dly."n-"But it's not fixed to anything!" ng!" n Ppiele" "He's an employee of T
homas Crook's Change Institutes who looks at you in a businesslike manner."
n spiele "He's a young skinny nerd with thick glasses and a spotty face with
an expressionof slight confusion on it." n spiele "It is being used for openin
g the door in cases of emergency." nh spieleE "It is being used for stopping t
he flight simulator and opening its door." n spiele* "If you press it, the fli
ght simulSPEAKER BASpkkV "'Can you direct me to the nearest railroad-sta (E)
"He complains about the increasing number of people who think that textadven
turesare dull and boring and who therefore prefer simple graphic adventures wher
e youonly have to click at things. "The speaker concludes his speech by shout
ing 'INFOCOM IS DEAD, LONG LIVE INFOCOM!'. You can't help applauding wild
ly." g "The speaker points out how important it is to know always where your
towel is." ( "She complains about the sales policy of local video stores, who
have taken the movie 'The Birds' out of the sales catalogue." 2 "He is firm
ly of the opinion that immortality is technically possible. After he h
as ended his speech, a hooded figure walks towards him and says I'D LIKE TO
ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS. WOULD YOU COME WITH ME, PLEASE3 "They walk away tog
ether and after a while you hear car's brakes screeching, a scream and an ugly
squelching noise. The hooded figure appears again, wiping hisscythe clean and l
aughing silently." Y "She protests against people who make fur coats out of A
ustrians." PF "He complains about the low quality of hotel breakfasts." P
"This old wizened man seems to be some kind of prophet, though a rather confused
one. He goes on explaining mathemagic derivations which nobody understands.cQ
"Then he makes prophesies about a day when 'a man shall strike his donkey'." Z
"She complains about a German-Czech dictionnary in which everything seems to
be translated wrong. For example the Czech phrase for 'Your father is a taxi d
riverand your mother has no bicycle' is translated with a German phrase meaningM
"'Can you direct me to the nearest railroad-station'" d "london.pr1",n 3)
"Don't plTAKE BASp£(£(you really want" n nh you can carry when yon"london.
pr1",n"your hand. CONGRATULATIONS, he says. YOU HAVE JUST PERFORMED ONE OF THE T
WENTY MOST STUPID WAYS TO DIE. LET'S GO." "and notice not without satisfaction
that not only your body, but also the pain- ting has been ripped to a thousand p
ieces."y"Suddenly his face gets bright again as if nothing had happened before""
'Now, what else can I do for you'"n"From the corner of an eye you can see a hood
ed figure standing in front of an exhibition shelf. It is Death. He turns to y
ou, saying""ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.""Ignoring the laug
hter from the people around, you wade through the water and pick up the ballo
on.""Dignified and holding your head up high, you step back over the fountain's
rim.""*BONK!*""Maybe you should have held your head a little bit lower. Then you
would have seen that the fountain's rim was a bit higher that you remembered
.""At least you're out of the water now." o(S)n"You put the food back and the wa
iter smiles""'Zat iz a gut boy!'""The horses (or whatever) walk back into the ki
tchen."n"london.pr1",Take "You manage to rip the wiper blades off the plane's
windscreen. The pilot inside shouts something. Luckily, you can't hear him thro
ugh the thick glass." o() nz "With a little crack the nose comes off and you
put it into your pocket." o() f() n "With great effort you lift the statue. O
f course you lose your balance and fall screaming off the pillar. After you have
arrived on the ground, Death shakes" c "The salesman wrestles it from your h
ands 'How about paying money for it'" n "The salesman snatches it out of you
r fingers again and snarls 'No deal, guv! Ya's godda gif me a couple o'quids!
""App P arently he wants you to pay the video cassette first." n "
Obviously he is VERY skilled in not moving. You can't even lift him." nD "You
can't reach him through the iron bars." nD "If you want portable music, buy
a walkman." n7 "What would you want that for" n "He shouts 'You won't get
me that easy, Ramirez!!!', draws a razor knife and makes goulash out of you.
""THAT WAS NOT VERY CLEVER, Death says to you, coming out of a dark corner.
COME WITH ME NOW." W "You can't carry him without suffering severe spinal i
njuries." nS "You'd probably get problems putting her into your pocket." nu
"You collect all your braveness, stretch out your hand and...""...reach right
through him!" nI "She protests loudly, so you put her down again." n7 "Wha
t would you want that for" n% "It's fixed." nQ "The poster is glued to the
wall and can not be removed." n- "He's not your type." n "Sorry, no bankr
obberies at this time of the day.""Apart from that, the machine is far too heavy
for your feeble physique." n "You fail to lift it out of its angles." nH
"Hey! Other people want to use this thing, too!" n2 "It is fixed to the wall.
" n "Once you had it, you wouldn't want it." n ! "'I say, let me go! Who do
you think I am I'm not some kind of pervert, you know, I'm not a pervert. I
'm perfectly ordinary, do you understand I'm not devious in any way!'""He se
ems to become hysterical." n& # "It is fixed." nk $ "It's perfectly allright
if you collect souvenirs, but let's not overdo it, o.k." nR£ % "What the heck
would someone want to do with an elevator" nv & "The salesman jumps up to you
, kicks you politely in the stomach and puts the guitar back." n ' "A loud
siren starts blaring, some guards rush in and start firing at you.""As Death tak
es you by the hand and walks away, you turn around for one last time" e ( "The
singing and dancing figures move too fast for you to grab hold of them." nM )
"It screams and bites you, so you put it down again." n + "He shouts 'Hey man
, let me go per favore, I godda sella da pizza!'" n , "You look around, but no
body takes notice of you. Quickly you put the Necro- nomicon into your pocke
t." o(,) nS( . / 0) "The clerk won't let you steal things." nm 1 "With big
effort you manage to wrestle them from the door." o(1) f( ) n 2 "The salesman
looks at you very sadly and shakes his head. Ashamed of yourself, you give the
sandwich back." nU 3 "You're pretty egoistic, huh Other people want to eat, t
oo!" n 4 "Since the dealer shows all signs of getting violent pretty soon, you
quickly give it back. He growls at you once more and then leaves you alone.
(Phew!)" n( 5 6) "The clerk shouts 'Put that back, or I'll call the police!'""
Since you already had the pleasure, you do as the man says." ni 8 "The salesma
n starts bursting into tears. You take pity on him and give it back." n 9 "The
salesman throws himself to the floor and clings to your legs. 'Please don't!Don
't! Don't! Oh, don't! PLEASE!'""Confused, you help the poor man up, dry his tear
s and apologize deeply." nl "As you reach downwards, a voice from next door s
ays""DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT." np "The clerk apologizes and explains that f
ood will only be given in exchange to money." ne "He pulls out a baseball b
at and hits you over the head saying 'Hwueehwww!'." ne "The salesman kicks yo
u sharply in the situpon. You drop the computer again." n "Even if you could
get a grip on it somewhere, it would be too heavy." n3 "It's screwed to the w
all." n A "They're cemented into the floor." n F "He looks a bit puzzled and
says 'Thou canst not take ye spirits!'." n G "He hits you with his towel. 'Th
at was for grabbing me!'""Then he !P!!!!!!!!!punches you in the stomach. 'And
that was for abusing the title of my first book in these silly adventures!'" R
H "It's too heavy. Obviously, something seems to be inside." n I "No. As th
e programmers of this game we won't let you. Who knows what things you'd do
with us" n J "With a crunch it comes off the wall. You suddenly realize it's v
ery hard to lifthuge stone plates when you are lying under them. And it is even
harder to breathe. In fact, it gets harder any second." K "He hits you
over the head with an empty plastic bottle and shouts""'That'll teach you, you b
lasphemic!'" n L "The statue is glued to its pedestal." n1 M "The fat lady s
tops you." nj N "She's too heavy. Besides, what would you want to do with two
tons of Australian" nC O "The Virtual Reality machine is too heavy." nv P "T
he telephone box is fixed to the ground. (What the heck would you want a phone b
ox for )" n Q "Oh! No vandalizing today, sorry." n S "You lean forwards over
the water. Your fingers almost touch the balloon.""5 inches to go... 4 inches..
. three.. two...""Suddenly, you lose your balance and splash headfirst into the
fountain." y T "Please spare me this kind of nonsens. This is a serious advent
ure.""NO, IT ISN'T.""Sorry..." n U "In order to do that, you'd have to cause s
ome property damage, which can be fun under certain circumstances, but not now."
n W "His assistant Dr. Wossname leaps out from behind a sofa and prevents the
brilliant detective's brainwaves being disturbed." n1 X "Why You don't
need it!" n Z "Overcoming your disgust, you fish it out of the toilet." o(Z)
nR "'Vat der hell! Lett mein hand go, you britische person!'" n "A waiter
shouts 'Nein! Get him!'.""You suddenly see two huge sheep-dogs standing beside h
im. Well, at least you suspect they are dogs. Judging by their size, they mig
ht as well be horses." "You can't lift it. It must be full!" n "The mach
ine is too heavy to lift." n 7 "The Chinese says 'I who squirm before thee lik
e a worm deeply regret that I have to tell you that you must pay two pounds f
or it.'" n "The salesman shouts something in Arab which you don't understand,
but he calms down as you put it back." nS "Since you have no library ticket
, you may only read them." nJ( e) "An employee of Mme Tussauds stops you." n3
e "It's fixed into the wall." nJ( e h) "An employee of Mme Tussauds stops y
ou." n2 h "The statue is too heavy." n) i "It's too heavy." n6 j "His whee
lchair is too heavy." n) l "It's too heavy." nJ m "The salesman takes them o
ut of your hands again." n n "This is a HUMAN speaker, not a loudspeaker. O.K.
, sometimes a loud-speaker, too,but... ah, you know what I mean!" ng o "You ca
n't take all of them. Apart from that, the salesman looks pretty angry." nw "
A saleswoman coming out from behind her stand stops you""'Pay one pound and you'
ll get it!'" n * "The pizza salesman waves a spoon in your direction and boili
ng hot tomato sauce hits your nose.""Ouch.""You put back the pizza." nIp"You tak
e "rufnam( )"." o( ) carr carrdq carr "Isn't it amazing how much you can carr
y when you really want" n nh you can carry when you really want" n nu really
want" n nming out from behind her stand stops you""'Pay one pound and you'll
get it!'" n * "The pizza salesman wave n "It is an E-180 VHS video cassette o
f cheapest quality." nB "A srew is a screw is a screw is a screw." n "This
is a very fine example of a screwdriver, long enough to drill someone's CENS
ORED"" out." n "He is in fact a pantomime who can stand perfectly still with
out moving at all. But you can't help suspecting he's not what he seems, especi
ally because a long thin metal thingy sticks out of the back of his neck." n
"P"""""""""TURNDISKBASpkey"£"library" £ "libraW d"usesub""Insert Side 3 and pre
ss any key"£"usesub W( d"menu-a""Insert Side 3 and press any key"£"menu-a(O2 d"v
r""Insert Side 3 and press any key"£"vr2iFP"Insert Side 1 and press any key"£ f(
)"waclav" f()"smirnoffPFZd d "talk1" "talk2" Q"talk3""talk4 d"Insert Side 3 an
d press any key" £ "talk1" "talk2" Q "talk3" "talk4dZHn x"Insert Si
de 1 and press any key" £ "reaper-axnS d"City""Insert Side 3 and press any key"£
"cityY d"library""Insert Side 3 and press any key"£"library" £ "library y key"
£ "Theend pld"Insert Side 3 and press any key" £ "talk1" "talk2" Q "
talk3" "talk4dZHn x"Insert Side 1 and press any key" £ "reaper-axnS d"City""In
sert Side 3 and press any key"£"cityY d"library""Insert Side 3 and press any f
() "waclav" f() "smirnoffP FtZ d d "talk1" "talk2" Q "tal
k3" "talk4 d"Insert Side 3 and press any key" £ "talk1" "talk2" Q "
talk3" "talk4d ZRn x d "Insert Side 1 and press any key" £ "reaper-ax n
d "City" "Insert Side 3 and press any key"USE BASp** n ,,,, ,,,, look
K7 pound "You ran out of money." o()"london.pr1",88"london.pr1",8Km pound "Y
ou ran out of money." o()"london.pr1",nn"london.pr1",n"A loud rumbling sound is
being heard as a Subway announces its arrival.""Czech slips on the banana skin a
nd falls backwards onto the Subway rails just asthe Subway thunders into the sta
tion.""He screams 'Pozor!!!' but then his voice is cut off by the deafening nois
e of the passsing Subway. You can't bear to watch it and turn away." '"Afte
r everything has become silent again, someone taps you on the shoulder.""You tur
n around." "I BELIEVE THIS IS YOURS, Death says and hands you your passport."
"I MUST GO NOW. CZECH AND I HAVE AN AWFULLY LOT TO TALK ABOUT. BE SEEING YOU.""W
ith this, he disappears."8 o() o() o() o(D)n"You lower your legwear and carefull
y take place on the toilet.""After having finished your business, you press the
flush button.""A sucking noise is heard and an incredible vacuum pulls you down.
""Of course we could have let you survive this journey, but we don't want people
covered with disgusting things running around in our adventure, so you're dead
."O"I THINK THERE'S A LESSON THERE FOR ALL OF US, says Death. COME ON.""He almos
t falls over but manages to keep his balance.""'That was not very clever of you,
Ramirez!', he snarls, drawing a razor knife.""The following scene was censored
for being too brutal and violent."M"PITY, says Death, picking up your remains. Y
OU WERE SO CLOSE." "london.pr1", Use "turndisk",F f() "Don't you know h
ow to handle a parachute""Well, you have" fal "metres to learn it!" n "There is
no time left to write." ns f() "Please don't! We remember your musical ca
pabilities quite well from Praha." ns ( spieleN o()N o()) "This is ha
rdly the time or place." n "You throw the banana skin. Czech dodges and laugh
s""'Missed me! You're losing your edge, Ramirez!'""The banana skin slips over th
e floor and lands behind Czech's left foot." o()N nq ( spieleN o()N) "Y
ou don't want to drin #P#########k this lovely souvenir." n "You throw the h
ot tea into Czech's face. He roars and stumbles backwards." o()N e "Yes
, it would look great in your room, but I wouldn't take it if I were you." n (
f()) "But it's broken!" n ( o( )) "You have no video cassette for it." ns
f() "Something has already been recorded and the overwrite protection has
been set." n spiele "You insert the cassette into the camera and take some
shots of the birds that sit everywhere on this square. Then you take the cass
ette out of the camera and set the overwrite protection." f() n- "Try using
a camera." nY "How do you want to use someone who doesn't move As a hatstand
" nM "How do you want to use a policeman As a bodyguard" nJ "You don't nee
d to. The music comes volunteerily." nL "If you want something like that, buy
a piggy bank." n! "No way!" nv "I'm afraid there isn't much use for him.
You don't have any lights he could laugh about." n0 "How do you mean that
!" nd "I'M OF NO USE TO YOU, says Death. BUT I'LL BE PRESENT WHENEVER I'M NEE
DED." nr "You could use her to frighten the birds in your garden at home, but
you we won'tlet you." n4 "Clerks are not to be used." nY "Salesmen have a
tendency to be not too friendly to their users." n "You quickly undress
and take a shower. The cold water almost kills you.""Fortunately you always hav
e your towel with you. You dry yourself and get dressed again." n "You
try to sleep, but you keep falling out of the bed's upper storey." n£ poun
d "You have no money." n "You insert £1 into the machine and it produces somet
hing that comes very close to coffee. Since you really could use a strong drink
now, you swallow the whole "cupful in one go.""HhhhHHOuuUAAARGHHHH !!!""Wh
ew! That was the right stuff!""This coffee was so strong you could almost EAT it
." thirs pound pound mk ! "He looks at you expectantly 'Yes... use me...'""You
politely refuse his offer." n9 # "I don't think this is possible." n $ o(
C) "turndisk", "An employee tosses you out and says (with a Czech accent)""'Y
ou need a ticket, you silly person. Hey! Haven't I seen you somewhere before'" n
u % "You'll have to go inside it first, I'm afraid.""However, if I were you, I
wouldn't do it." n, & "You don't have it." n9 ( "I don't think they would a
gree." nA ) "Never have I seen a more useless thing." nC + "He shouts at you
and you leave him alone." nr , f() "It looks as if this book's magic is br
oken. Maybe someone can repair it." n , spiele( "A few ghostbuskers appear,
play some forgotten tunes and untie your shoes. Then they disappear again.
Maybe the book would work better in a more appropriate atmosphere" n
, "Bright octarine light starts sparkling from the book's pages. You hear stra
nge howling noises from all around and then suddenly there is a loud bang.
Everything is silent. , "You look around.""'Hullo, me strange-clad friend
', says a half-transparent figure behind you. 'Alloweth me to introduce me h
umble self Willy M. Sheiksbeer is me name. And who mightst thou be'" o(F)
( n o() "You move them around a bit on the plane's windscreen and the wipe
r blades come off. You put them into your pocket." o() nK "You use them to b
rush some fluff off your clothes." nD "You try to blow it, but you fail miser
ably." n "No, no, no. Not that simple. We made the effort of programming anot
her verb especially for this action. Please don't disappoint us." n "This
poster's made for reading,""and that's what you shall do,""and if you try to us
e it""this poem is for you." n "To make things easier for you, you won't have
to use money with anything. Wher $P$$$$$$$$$ever you need money to do so
mething, the program will subtract the amount from your account automatically.
" n "Open it or close it. You can't do anything else with doors (Well, at lea
st nothing that makes sense)." nU " "Somehow you are not motivated to use
anything with the bag." n * "Have you ever considered eating it " ni( - .)
"I'm not quite sure if you are aware of the meaning of the word 'use'." nF( .
7) "Don't play with your food. Eat it!" n ' "No. Oh, no.""I can imagine quite
well what you'd do with that painting, you vandal. Trarfglagr Square wa
sn't enough, eh " nU "There is nothing here you consider important enough to
film." nFp (rufnam( )) , "with " Uqrufnam( a)"the things in your pocket" o( a
) spiele obr , ($," ") , c a o( c) spiele ob c rufnam( ob) £ t
c tRs , ($," ") , rufnam( ob) £ t £Cu ( () (I)) y c ob av c a
c3w o( c) spiele ob c sx cy ( () (H)) c ob z c c a3 o( c) spiel
e ob c s cU ( (/) (L)) c a o ob tDrufnam( a)"the other things" o
( a) ob£ , ($," ") , c a o( c) ob c rufnam( ob) £ c R , ($
," ") , rufnam( ob) £ £C ( () (I)) c ob a c a c+ o( c) ob c
c ( () (H)) c ob c c a+ o( c) ob c cU ( (/) (L)) c a q
o ob b o "Of course you realize that this didn't improve your situation
at all." n( o) "Incredible, but you managed to repair the video camera with
the screw!" f() o() n "There is no way of driving a screw into "rufnam( o)"."
"Well, not without certain undesirable consequences, anyway." n( o )"You manage
to remove a long screw that was fixed into his neck.""Apparently the screw was
the only thing that prevented him from moving, because suddenly he twitches, bli
nks, shakes your hand and runs away.6( o ) o() o( )nx "Don't !!! (I knew it
was dangerous to let someone like you handle high pre- cision tools.)" nw(
o f())"Good idea, but the old Guides are not capable of that. Try a newer versio
n."n( o) "You insert your Smirnoff Card into the machine. Words like '*Error*
', 'Cheat', 'Code Recognized' and 'Access Granted' start flashing over the mach
ine's screen.Then it beeps loudly and spits out £ 50.D( o) o() pound pound2
nc "That's not the way to get money out of it, my mentally unstable friend...
" nl( o) "The pen is now filled with ink and ready for use." o() f() nS "I
doubt that "rufnam( o)" would look better then." n ,,,, ,,,, look better the
n."n ,,,, , , on't pleeps loudly and spits out £ 50.D( o) o() pound pound2 n
c "That's notUSE2 BASp!! yet to be done!"nQ£ m"Of course you realize K7 p
ound "You ran out of money." o()"london.pr1",88"london.pr1",8Km pound "You ra
n out of money." o()"london.pr1",nn"london.pr1",n"london.pr1",more Use £ 8"How d
o you use a portion of Fish & Chips ""(...Well, yes, there ARE some possibilitie
s, but none of them is necessary to win this ga %P%%%%%%%%%me.)"n4 9"Oh, for
heaven's sake shut up."n "You already have got a pair of your own."nR( A R V )"
It's of no use using this."nV "He exclaims 'Lahs maesch in Rooohh!' ('Please lea
ve me alone')."n "You switch it on and a hand holding a blue disk appears on the
screen.""Apparently this computer has been designed for illiterates, so you swi
tch it offagain."n7 "Have you ever tried to enter it "n( C)"Try using the Subwa
y itself."nP( D E)"Not now. Wait until someone demands to check it."nU F"I would
know a use for spirits, but more for the liquid ones..."n( G N W j n)"Look. Yo
u can't just always use people. That's very impolite and selfish."ni H"Yeah, tha
t thing would make a great bath tub!""No, seriously, you can't use that."nd I"No
, no, no, I'm afraid you got something wrong here.""If at all, WE use YOU!"n J"D
isapponted because you still haven't won the game, you bang your head against i
t several times.""Suddenly a secret passage opens into a green forest. J"On a cl
earing you can see the letters THE END carved out of huge stone blocks. The pro
grammers arrive and shake your hands 'Congratulations, you made it !'""Press any
key"£ J"- 'Really ', you ask.""- 'No, just pulling your leg!', the programmers
laugh and run away.""The passage disappears."8 K"He seems to get really angry no
w and screams 'You shall not use Me, I am God!' Roaring, he jumps towards you,
a knife in his hand.""Suddenly a hooded figure appears and sticks his scythe bet
ween the loony's feet." o(K) K"The loony stumbles and falls into his own knife."
"Death looks at him, then at you.""GOD IS DEAD (F. Nietzsche). PARDON THE PUN, B
UT HIS TIME WAS OVER. SEE YOU.""Whith this, Death and the loony disappear"na L"N
o, you'd probably put it into your front garden between the garden gnomes."n M"Y
ou switch the channel. Some boring news announcer explains that the police are s
till searching for the vandal that destroyed Trafgraggl Square and escaped fromp
rison. M"Just as they're about to show a photo of the vandal the fat lady switch
es the channel back again (whew!)."n O"Just enter it. The prize is one pound."
n$ P"Just enter it."nG Q o(Z)"You don't have a 10p coin."n"phoneB T"No thanks. Y
ou really don't want to get wet."nR X"There are some Austrians behind that door.
Better let it be."n0£ Y"But your *** is not dirty."n Z"You flip the coin. ''Hea
d, I'll win the game number, I'll lose it!'', you say. Of course we don't need t
o tell you which side came top.""Once more, you feel very depressed."nz "For som
e moments you think about using it to frighten other people but then decide
to let it be."n4 "There is no video player here."n9 "Use the catalogue computer
instead."n o()"You'll have to take it first."n"You cover your whole face with b
lack shoe cream." f() o()nT( e)"Unfortunately, you haven't got any matches with
you."n% e"Try to open it."nT( f g)"Unfortunately, you haven't got any matches w
ith you."n h"'Don't you dare!', an old man in a wheelchair shouts." o(j) spielen
8 i"Try dealing with the clerk inside."n k"You fondle your towel a bit. It makes
you feel so good you even forget about hunger and thirst for a while. k hung
e hunge hunge hungeG k thirs thirs thirs thirsnn l"turndisk",E o"I'm afraid thes
e things have already been used."nEp (rufnam( )) , "with " Uqrufnam( a)"the th
ings in your pocket" o( a) spiele obr , ($," ") , c a o( c) spiele ob crufnam(
ob) £t ctJs , ($," ") , rufnam( ob)£ t£C5u( () (I))y c ob av c &P&&&&&&&&&a c
/w o( c) spiele ob csx c2y( () (H)) c obz c c a/ o( c) spiele ob cs cH( (/) (L))
c a o obtDrufnam( a)"the other things" o( a) ob , ($," ") , c a o( c) ob crufn
am( ob) £ cJ , ($," ") , rufnam( ob)£ £C5( () (I)) c ob a c a c' o( c) ob c c2(
() (H)) c ob c c a' o( c) ob c cH( (/) (L)) c aq o ob o "Of course you realize
that this didn't improve your situation at all."n( 7 o3)"You open the eggs and m
ix them with the breakfast.""Oops. You seem to have poisoned it with salmonellae
.""Suddenly one of the Austrians comes running in, eats almost all the breakfast
( 7 o3)"and runs up the stairs again. After a while, you hear a choking scream f
rom upstairs." f() o(3) o(7) spiele o(B)( 7 o3)"You run up into the receptio
n hall, where you can hear sirens from the north.""Hurriedly, you run north and
the clerk even forgets to close the door behind you."( 7 o3)"An ambulance car
is standing on the road, its sirens blaring deafeningly. The only thing l
ouder than the sirens is a howling Austrian who is just being loaded into the
car.( 7 o3)"While the Austrian writhes in agony, something falls out of its pock
et and onto the floor. Then the ambulance car drives off, leaving only a cloud o
f dust."n$ 7"Don't be sick."n( oe)"You manage to open the safe with the hairpin
." f()nZ( o)"Good idea, but your lockpicking skills are not that good."nZ( o)"
Good idea, but your lockpicking skills are not that good."nZ( o)"Good idea, but
your lockpicking skills are not that good."n3 "I doubt that this would work."nT
( B o spiele)"The door is now unlocked." f()n( B o)"But the door isn't locked!"n
( B oX)"But the door isn't locked!"nI B"Obviously you have stranger ideas than w
e imagined."nN( S oU spiele) "You can't open the window." n( S oU) "You wr
estle the window open and place the balloon under it.""With a SLAM! the window r
ushes down onto the balloon, which bursts. A tiny note falls out of the balloon
and lands on the street in front of the hotel.( S oU f()) o(V) o(S) n ( S
oU f()) "A small old woman picks up the note and hobbles away." o(S) f() n S
"I don't think that would make much sense."no( U oS) S oU"No, you wouldn't want
to destroy "rufnam( o)"."n( m o)"None of these games is compatible software for
Amigas.""Anyway, you should be ashamed of yourself, playing games while there's
so much yet to be done!"nQ£ m"Of course you realize that this is an entirely fu
tile task."n ,,,, plhobbles away." o(S) f() n S"I don't think that would make m
uch sense."no( U oS) S oU"No, you wouldn't want to destroy "rufnam( o)"."n( m o)
"None of these games is compatible software for Amigas.""Anyway, you should be a
shamed of yourself, playing games while there's so much VIDEO RNDpGGRKING THA
T LATE, he explains and walks away.""london.B (E)"You take a look at one of the
cassettes." D "It is the thriller 'The Beards' featuring ZZ Top."F "It's
the famous Science Fiction movie 'Star Worse'."P( "It is a splatter movie cal
led 'The Muppet Chainsaw Massacre'."G2 "It's the action comedy 'Teenage Mutan
t Ninja Turds'." "It's the roa 'P'''''''''d movie 'The Wuzz Brothers'."DF
"It's the classic 'The Phantom Of The Soap Opera'."WP "Wow! It's part one of
'The Hitchhiker's Guide To Praha - The Movie'!"Z "It's 'Shakespeare's Greate
st Works' interpreted by Beavis and Butt-Head."Xd "It's the horror movie 'Cha
rlie Chaplin Meets The Alien Brain Eaters'."n "It's the comedy 'A Fish Calle
d Ghandi'."x "It is a horror film called 'Death Strikes At Midnight'.""NOT TR
UE, says a voice behind you.""You turn around and see Death looking over your sh
oulder."Y "I USUALLY TRY TO AVOID WORKING THAT LATE, he explains and walks aw
ay.""london.pr1",n e that here!" np ,,,,,,,,vis and Butt-Head."Xd "It's the h
orror movie 'Charlie Chaplin Meets The Alien Brain Eaters'."n "It's the come
dy 'A Fish Called Ghandi'."x "It is a horror film called 'Death Strikes At Mi
dnight'.""NOT TRUE, saar#, o( objek)O objek#, c#, metre#, czec#, koruna#, bej
rau a richtun #, durchgan( rau, richtun) richtun rau1 fla a#, f( fla) flao
82"Insert Game Save Disk and press any key..."C "" DI,"*.pra"7"Enter Filename .
......."( ,)£ eingab- eingab"" "Load aborted." n (eingab) WEAR BASpy sil
ly." n ondon.pr1",n"london.pr8"london.pr1",8n"london.pr1",n"london.pr1",Wear
f() "You are already wearing it." n "You put on the parachute and close its
safety belt." f() nJ "Your body doesn't have the correct size for this." n
"You neatly place the banana skin on top of your head.""Since it doesn't impro
ve your outer appearance, you remove it again." n " "You put the bag over your
head.""After a while it gets very hard to breathe, but you feel sensually arous
ed in a strange way.""A few seconds later, you die of asphyxiation."s " "LEAVE
THIS KIND OF FUN TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO DO IT, Death says as he drags you a
way." & "You take the guitar and hang it around your neck.""The salesman jump
s up, runs to you, removes the guitar and makes his forehead meet your nose."
n "You stick the hairpin into your hair.""Then you decide that your former ha
irdo looked better and remove it again." n P "You wouldn't look too fashionabl
e." n Y "You wrap yourself in toilet paper and stalk around for a few hours un
til someonemistakes you for a resurrected mummy and shoots you.""I'LL MAKE NO FU
RTHER COMMENT, Death says. COME ON." "You smear the shoe cream all over your
face until you look like an African American with extreme acne." f() o() n
k "You put the towel over your head and suck your thumb a bit.""After you hav
e regained your confidence, you remove it again." n o "You manage to build a c
ostume Dali could not have done better.""As the salesman looks at you, he yelps
with fright and is about to run away. Then he realizes it's you and looks at
you angrily." o "Quickly, you disassemble the costume and put everything down
again." nA (E) "That wouldn't be very fashionable." nG (E) "I suggest you to g
et psychiatrical help." n (E) "Of course we shouldn't tell you what to wear and
what not, but we will anyway. You Can Not Wear That!" nK (E) "You're not goin
g to go out in these clothes!" n (E) "We are sorry to inform you that this is a
bsolutely impossible.""Even if it WERE possible, it'd look very silly." n ondon
.pr1",n"london.pr1",Wear £ "stairs I suggest you to get psychiatrical help." n
(E) "Of course we shouldn't tell you what to wear and what not, but we will any
way. You Can Not Wear That!" nK (E) "You're not going to go out in these cloth
es!" n (E) "We are sorry to inform you that this is absolutely impossible.""Eve
n if it WERE possible, it'd look ver (P((((((((( )P)))))))))Tous droits réservés. Reproduction sans autorisation interdite. © Kukulcan